Last week's News

News article for the week of 10/8/05.

Supernaturals Attempt Belated Public Relations Blitz
By, Grey News

It’s a rare day when Frankenstein, two Werewolves, a Vampire and a Mummy sit down at a table. When a group like this does gather together and announce a press conference you can bet they get a good turn out from the media hounds.
The purpose was hardly surprising, they were attempting to renovate the tarnished image of supernatural beings. This is hardly the first such attempt, though it is the first truly multicultural attempt that lasted more than seven minutes. The participants managed to stave off the infamous Vampire/Werewolf animosity, the Mummy propensity to want to style Frankenstein’s hair and the inability of ghosts (oh yes they were there, though you only know it because the Mummy kept sneezing) to appear on any recording medium and give a relatively successful press conference.
Relatively. No one really listened to them when they said that all they wanted was to live in peace with humans, as opposed to drinking our blood, eating our flesh, using us for spare parts, consuming our fluids or using humans or parts there of in any sort of ritual or spell.
Right guys, pull the other one.
However this level of cooperation was unprecedented and seemed sincere, meaning that if it is genuine the first steps may have been taken.
The likelihood of this is limited, however, as a part of the conference was clearly a whitewash piece, with all participants trying to argue that garlic, silver and Twinkies do not have their traditional effects.
Further damaging credibility was the absence of Zombies and Trolls. Fairies already enjoy a positive reputation so their presence was never expected. Analysts claim that to include Zombies may have been more damaging that the statement “Vampires enjoy a good tan”.
Speculation is that this is due in part to the Zombies more successful independent attempt to normalize their relations with humans. With Zombie Elvis and Zombie George Harrison spearheading a successful publicity program hooking up with monsters that are remain unpopular could be a major setback.
Others believe that it is because Zombies remain relatively unpopular that a separate, united front would be more successful.
Most likely the fact that Zombies are unpopular with their fellow supernaturals as well as humans led to deliberate exclusion.
It is too early to say, though if press conference is an indication of things to come the new, still unnamed group, may well succeed in its goals. As disgusting and disturbing as it may be a picture of Frankenstein hugging a Werewolf and a Vampire kissing a Mummy this may be an indication of things to come.
A true test may be the major East Coast/West Coast feud which has dragged Mummies and Werewolves on to each side. If any coalition of monsters were to bring peace to the warring sides then their reputation would be set.
Unfortunately the Vampires hinted that settling the Palestinian/Israeli conflict would be a greater priority, showing once again that monsters are settling on easier options as usual.