Last week's News

News article for the week of 3/17/07.

The Search for Atlantis XIII: Brazil Hates Me
By, Grey Exploration (Continued from Ep. 12)

Generally I don’t have many problems with South America. In fact I have high hopes where this continent is concerned, especially in relation to finding Atlantis.
Our experts hate it here. Not because there’s nothing to be found, in fact they’ve turned up more bluish crystal stuff that looked like the thing Moneybags pulled out and said guided us here.
So far we’ve found a sizable chunk about fifty meters off the coast that might be some sort of mapping device. Of course that’s a guess and for all we know it’s an automatic shower cleaner.
Excitement abounds even with my personal misgivings. Moneybags’ bit of rock wasn’t precise, we’re starting in Brazil because it’s the nearest chunk of South America and the evidence is everywhere, if you know what you’re looking for.
There’s plenty to keep our group of Atlantis experts busy, we’re still setting up, getting equipment in place, gathering resources, unfortunately none of them are happy.
Like me are they uneasy with how our benefactor pulled out a bit of blue stuff and uncovered evidence at the eleventh hour that put our expedition back on track? Are they suspicious that this just happened to be bought out at a convenient time? Does Moneybags’ explanation that he didn’t know if it was legit and wanted the Mediterranean site searched first ring hollow with them?
No, the experts, trekkies every one, hate it here because the average Brazilian is more fluent in Klingon than any of them.
Okay, I’ll break it down for you. Of all the possible places Atlantis, or it’s remains could be, the top contenders to modern thinking are somewhere in the Mediterranean (as a small island), Antarctica (as in it’s the entire continent) and the Eastern coast of South America and the West coast of Africa (if it was in the Atlantic this is where the remains would be).
The first we have, for the moment (you never know what might be pulled out of a pocket and direct us on a return voyage) discounted, discovering a fraud both in terms of Atlantis and undersea property development that sucked in a bunch of Morelocks.
The latter we’re not eager for. No one’s entirely sure why but two of the trekkies say that there was unpleasantness and they don’t want to have to hurry back.
So between the evidence and the Smurf rock we’ve come here.
Our headquarters is a nice little hotel overlooking the ocean and one of the better slums, with easy access to modern conveniences and cheap, expendable labour if we wish it.
The experts have already demanded that any temporary employees wear nice, new red shirts.
As evens unfold I will continue to file reports, probably intermittently since I have a strong urge to take up alcoholism.