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Last week's NewsNews article for the week of 10/9/09. Stephen King to Serialise
Atlantis Search Series Celebrated horror author and amphetamine addicted workaholic Stephen King has announced that he will be turning factishness into fiction as he turns the search for Atlantis, recently covered here, into a series of novels, sure to be turned into a series of movies. According to King he will turn the twenty eight part series of articles into nine books outlining the meeting of minds, the financing, the trials and tribulations from the undersea dead end populated with Morelocks to the Amazonian adventure maze with Chinese spies and Mexican labour. Stephen King has stated that he opted to write about the Atlantis expedition because he was looking for an easy, fluffy story of no real weight that he could just throw interesting ideas into without worrying in the least about continuity or the reality of the situation. King has sidestepped a number of legal licensing issues by going to a number of people directly involved for their side of the story, to change events just enough to not have to pay any fees as he changes it even further into something interesting. Apparently the deal was easy to make, in the event of films being made the three lead researchers are to be played by George Takei, Marina Sirtis and Scott Bakula. Additionally the financier of the original expedition has been more than willing to talk to the author in an attempt to rebuild his fortunes. Stephen King has been keen to incorporate these viewpoints into his novel as they express points of view that will enhance the story. It is expected that the money made from telling the tale of the failing but not fruitless search for Atlantis will make Stephen King a multimillionaire over and above his current multimillionaire status. Upon hearing this announcement one of our own Grey reporters, recently returned from the Amazon basin in what must be some sort of strange coincidence, went completely ape-poop bezerko bananas. Said Grey started charging up and down the newsroom floor wearing his pants on his head, his shirt as a sock and a small dog as a wristwatch, crying out “I’m a blimey, blimey blue. Watchita waggle rhubarb.” After an hour of this he then proceeded to build a small fort in his cubical and attempted to declare it an independent state who’s principle exports were staples and empty twinkie wrappers, which while true was not enough to prevent several guards from destroying the fort, dispersing the small army of itinerant journalist fighters and carting the poor Grey off to the funny farm. While we do not know what caused this we wish him as much luck as Mr King. |