Last week's News

News article for the week of 3/13/05.

Stumbling for Atlantis
Atlantis to be Found. Or Else.
By, Grey Exploration

Billionaire-philanthropist-nutcase William Evans Preston IV has announced that he will personally fund and participate in a worldwide search for the lost city/continent of Atlantis. One might wonder as to why the term lost city/continent is used. Well, one of the objectives of this exploration is to determine which is truly correct, as contradicting yet equally popular theories have it as either a city or a continent and sometimes both. William Evans Preston IV is undertaking this endeavour for a number of reasons. First is his belief that science and the spirit of adventure must continue. With the Mars mission, featuring one of the less stable Grey reporters, ending in an attempt to destroy Mars and the total lunacy of every crewmember Preston IV believes that notion of the adventurer/scientist has taken a serious body blow and seeks an endeavour by which to repair that image, lest humans give up their exploring ways. While the task of finding Atlantis with only the vaguest of parameters may seem impossible, especially when so many other expeditions have failed in the past Preston IV is confident that at the very least something new about history will be discovered. As he stated, “It is not about finding Atlantis, it is about nourishing human curiosity”. This view, though coming from the prime benefactor of the expedition, has not endeared William Evans Preston IV to many Atlantis experts who see the actual finding of Atlantis, and therefore confirmation of their own theories, as being the paramount concern. Each of five major thoughts on Atlantis is represented in five separate team leaders. Jackie Minob is an archaeologist who is certain that Atlantis lies within the Mediterranean area, possibly on one of many Greek islands or sunken into the waters itself. Bob Henderson is another archaeologist, one who specialises in weather patterns, who is certain that Antarctica is Atlantis, the lost continent. Though he may have to wait the longest to test his theory, his expertise could be valuable to others. Similarly Michael Huang is an archaeologist with expertise in past weather patterns who believes that Atlantis is literally within the Atlantic Ocean, with three theories favouring the location to be equatorial, off the coast of Ireland, or somewhere short of the Bermuda Triangle. Anatole Gulliarde is the lone sceptic, who claims that Atlantis was a parable, not an actual location. With a history of solidly debunking many theories he is seen as the one to keep the team honest. And then there is Brian O’Brian, who firmly believes that it was all the doings of aliens. Aliens city, alien space ship, alien tales, he believes all of it, even when they are contradictory. He’s along because someone needed to bring the snacks. Not being added to this team are reporters such as myself. The presence of Grey Space aboard the Mars mission is seen as an albatross around the neck of the entire ex Aliens city, alien space ship, alien tales, he believes all of it, even when they are contradictory. Not being added to this team are reporters such as myself. The presence of Grey Space aboard the Mars mission is seen as an albatross around the neck of the entire experience. Preston IV is also unwilling to maintain a permanent press presence since that might encourage the various members of the team to try to vote each other off as if this were a Reality TV series. This would be a disaster as Jackie, the only woman, would be voted off instantly by the surrounding nerds since they all hold the opinion that “Girls are no good for science or D&D and that’s what this group is all about”. Nevertheless he will be allowing semi regular updates of the mission’s progress, with interviews of team leaders, their staffs and even himself. Look for this feature to continue in coming editions.