Sports from the past week.

Past sports article for the week of 7/19/05

More Manpower to Yachting
By, Grey Sports

Always an intense, team oriented sport, yachting is being prepared for a makeover to make it more appealing to all viewers as the majority of people see the event as nothing more than a distraction for the idle rich.
Ever eager for attention these same idle rich are attempting to revamp the image of their favorite hobby in order to compete with the mind numbing “entertainment” of the masses.
In the beginning the plan was simple, to open slots in crews for those of lower income and have them become a part of the crew. An entire Reality TV series was planned around this, until it was revealed that Rob Lowe was planning a similar series.
Loath to be considered copycats the idle rich have instead embarked on an ambitious plan to triple the size of crews, managing this feat by turning their yachts into longboats, the ancient Norse design that could use oars or sails.
Whilst this is not truly sailing and will not yet be allowed in the major competitions small, local events are allowing it, citing the increased mass of oars and crew outweighing any temporary advantage in terms of speed and the massive, massive bribe that the rich of Europe and the US have given to every official they can find. Only the bounds of taste have prevented them from delivering a bribe of sufficient size to allow the competitive use of these longboat yachts.
It is too soon to truly judge the success of this endeavor; it has drawn a great deal of criticism. Principally the idea that only those of lower income be placed on the oars while the idle rich maintain their aboveboard positions is insulting to many. However since these people would object to yachting anyway this has hardly affected anything.
Humans Rights organizations are making their feelings known and could possibly cause some trouble for the revamping process.
These groups see a problem with the facilities onboard of these modified yachts, specifically the fact that the only modifications were the additions of oars, holes and a few planks to sit upon. Oars men, so far this remains an unspokenly sexist sport, are stuck heaving in cramp conditions for little or no reward. Consequently there are many groups that see this as objectionable.
Additionally this works against the ideals of the revamping, as it presents the rich exploiting the poor.
Even knowing this there is still a significant pool of volunteers ready and willing to take their place upon the boats. Much of this is put down to the aura of yachting, the power and magnificence of sailing, and the opportunity to rub elbows with financial betters, possibly saving one or two grateful people from drowning. Or failing any of that to facilitate an unfortunate incident or two.
Whether these tactics will hold until the next America’s Cup is unknown, until then the oar powered yachts will remain a constant sight along the golden coasts of the rich people beaches.