Sports from the past week.

Past sports article for the week of 10/8/05

A Cozmic Sport Short

Hunters unable to tell which season

By, Cozmic

Mass confusion has struck every major hunting association across the world, with none of them able to tell whether it's duckseason, or rabbitseason. The whole thing is being called absurd by the press, and Warner Brothers has already threatened to sue. Meanwhile, the hunters are merely trying to figure out what to shoot, and waiting for deerseason to start.
It all started when the hunters were out looking for ducks, when the suspicion that maybe it was rabbit season started. Unable to resolve the issue, the hunting team went to ask the organization, who sent it into an enormous maze of bureaucracy to come up with the result that yes, ducks were indeed real creatures, and there was indeed a season to hunt them, assuming you filled out form 54678A for hunting animals that begin with the letter D and form 90497q for animals ending with a k. Which, of course, didn't help at all, but it was the best they could do at such short notice.
Similarly, posters scattered around never say the same thing after being left unseen for more than 5 minutes, adding much confusion. Someone even suggested this was the work of the rabbits and the ducks, but was quickly mocked by everyone else, who claimed animals are pretty, but also pretty dumb. He might still be right though, as nobody seems quite sane in this whole mess. They've even decided that whichever animal is seen gets shot, and the mess is to be sorted out later. Of course, this is illegal, meaning the government can claim lots of fines. The problem being that most government employees are the ones causing this ruckus (the world only has so many loonies to go around), and that the way to manage these fines is actually costlier than just letting them slide. Either way, the animals are most likely not enjoying the situation, both the rabbits and the ducks, as they are now the target of governmental stupidity, meaning they are now civilized creatures.