Sports from the past week.

Past sports article for the week of 11/13/05

Drive By Shooting Claims Three Lives in Renewed East Coast West Coast Feud
By, Grey Events

It was just supposed to be a quiet dinner between friends. A time to relax, unwind, connect with a few of the nearest and dearest that should have ended with dessert and heartfelt, not terminal goodbyes.
Instead it ended in “A rain of fire and metal”.
These were the words of Thomas “T-Rex” King outside a hospital after receiving treatment for shrapnel wounds that killed a driver, associate rapper “U-Bend” and Jurassic Park actor, one of the founding members of the Jurassic Pack, actor “Riptide” Raptor, and leaving Riptide’s brother “Whistler” in a coma.
Also at the scene were several up and coming young rappers such as “Vin-Dacious”, “Two-Bit” and Minnie Mouse. All received minor injuries as T-Rex shielded them with his bulk.
All four survivors were united in their condemnation of their East Coast rivals, specifically Godzilla and Woody Woodpecker, who appear to be convicted as far as most are concerned.
Woody Woodpecker was unavailable for comment, as he is still in rehab for his cocaine addiction, while Godzilla brushed past reporters on his way to a rare visit to his still comatose daughter.
A spokesman for Godzilla issued a statement decrying the accusations that come at a time of “great personal tragedy”.
Nevertheless police are investigating links to the New York based Godzilla group, known for intense rivalry with the Los Angeles Jurassic Pack over rap, drugs and big lizard movies.
One insider that refused to be identified claimed that evidence had surfaced linking the Jurassic Crew, T-Rex in particular, with the events that led to Daughter of Godzilla’s injuries, providing the impetus to reigniting the conflict that had died down in recent years.
Another source claims that Godzilla himself would not take action in this matter – his record of lackluster parenting indicating a lack of motivation. The visit earlier was a rarity however and could easily be interpreted as either a cover or an attempt at an innocent act.
The most likely suspect is the Son of Godzilla, who has been far more motivated to avenge the attack on his family in recent months.
Whatever the cause the result is the same, the East Coast versus West Coast lizard conflict is on again.
With Riptide and Whisper out of the immediate picture T-Rex will probably renew his contacts with “Croc-E-Dial” and T-Tops, both associates from the movies who moved on to other projects funded by associates of T-Rex, to bring his lizard quota up for a head to head conflict with the sizable Godzilla clan.
After their recent falling out it is unlikely that Barbara Streisand would aid T-Rex, though she may act against Godzilla for personal reasons.
Neither Godzilla nor son is making any obvious moves at the moment, indeed this may be the quiet before the storm as both sides marshal their force.