Sports from the past week.

Past sports article for the week of 1/22/06

Slow Star to This Year’s Ice Fishing
By, Grey Sports

2005 saw many changes in the sport of ice fishing, dominated by the retirement of old veterans Bob Whittaker, Francine Dormond and Raymond Kincaid. The loss of these experienced hands, while provoking moments of sorrow and reflection, opened a number of potentially prestigious positions and awards for newcomers, potentially leading to years of exciting jockeying for position before they finally settled into fine fisher’s hand for another extended period.
Traditionally certain personalities have dominated titles for large periods of time, sometimes detrimentally depending on previous expectations for those awards. Raymond Kincaid in particular was well known for guarding the “World Hole Special” and “Icy Bottom Cup” with skill and jealousy. Until the Icy Bottom fell into his hands it had been an indicator of future holders of the “Chilled Pole”, the most coveted award in Ice Fishing.
Unfortunately this season, which began in December 2005, appears to be off to a poor start as these newly opened awards, though heavily contested, do not appear to benefit from the expected degree of excitement.
Thankfully ecological issues have been less of a concern, similarly protests regarding the damage and barbarity of the sport have dropped steadily since the unfortunate incident with the nude protestors at the 2002/3 season.
No, this year it seems that much of the fire has gone from the competitors, the loss of the old guns has generated more malaise than excitement.
Theories are that without these established competitors there is less incentive to compete with full effort to unseat these champions.
Arthur Dormond, Francine’s youngest son and one of the best ice fishers of his generations, has so far failed to fully capitalise on his mother’s contacts and lessons, bringing only two submachine guns with five clips each, a dozen grenades of assorted type and four mines, ignoring the family tradition of isolating foes by melting ice with a flamethrower.
Likewise Jimmy Toothorn failed to capitalise on opponent’s simple mistakes and blast their huts to smithereens with a rocket launcher.
Instead he acted like a novice and simply set fire to their pants.
The lack of action is a disturbing trend with fears that ice fishing is slowing down rising forth for the first time since the shock announcement that South Africa would field an ice fishing team, a move attributed to an attempt to rise ice fishing’s profile in non-traditional markets.
Regardless hopes are high that the final months of the season will warm up – not literally of course – with coaches attempting to procure steroids, Ritalin and viagra in massive amounts.
Old favourites in the heavy ordinance category are being ordered in traditional mounts, with the lack of use indicative of a stockpile mentality, with many hoping that the fun and excitement of ’95 will return again.