Sports from the past week.

Past sports article for the week of 4/26/06

Britain Attempts to Export Cricket Yet Again
By, Grey Sports

In the history of cultural exchanges the most successful area, other than temporary tattoos, has always been sports. Something about athletic endeavours encourage humanity to share what they know and compete, even if they do not fully understand the rules of the game, all the better for the opposition that does not mind a few advantages.
While most national favourites have failed to take off internationally, the likes of basketball, tennis, hot dog eating and beating up on Jay Lenno have proven so successful that they have become Olympic grade events.
That being said the renewed attempt by the English to teach other cultures their national sport of cricket is not being met with enthusiasm.
Many smaller nations, particularly Caribbean nations, Australia and India, are already avid supporters of cricket. The inclusion of these and other interests is important factor being integrated into this attempt, whereas the previous attempt was very much an English endeavour.
During the late 80’s, around about the same time that soccer was beginning to be accepted around the world England attempted to double their success and achieve something similar to cricket.
Unfortunately due to a number of factors, the attempt to market the sport as “baseball only more civilised”, the potential use of a naked Margaret Thatcher or Spanish equivalent and cavorting leeches created a campaign based on negative reinforcement, dooming the effort.
This time more positive measures are being used to promote cricket. Chief among them is posting the rules with a free serving of fish and chips, possibly the only native English food edible by anyone.
Additionally a new English Cricket Spokesman to replace Zombie Freddy Mercury is being considered. While Zombie Freddy Mercury has been a passionate advocate around the world, increasing mistrust of Zombie Celebrities and some bad publicity relating to the living members of Queen and finger-painting has strained his ability to act effectively.
As to why now most cricket enthusiasts believe that now is the perfect time for a new, relatively new or at least novel seeming sport to sweep the world.
While cricket has not and is unlikely in the future to involve explosives, horses, supermodels or even the chance to set fire to Shakira, and the only sharp sticks and clubs are firmly entrenched as non-lethal elements of the game there is a possibility that cricket could compete against the some of the more lethal new games making an appearance.
To further aide the cause certain elements that have made soccer popular are to be included in cricket. However riots are deemed to be counter to the cricketing image of dignity and high class.
Nevertheless the advantages to promoting cricket are considerable. The built in world wide audience means that there are no small few cricket fans in nations where the sport has failed to take off. And when compared to Jet Pack Water Polo or Sean Penn Kicking it is considerably cheaper and results in far less collateral damage to any arena than trying to kick Sean Penn typically does.