Past Sports from the past week.

Past sports article for the week of 2/14/07

First Competitive Rattlesnake Round Up Considered A Success
By, Grey Sports

Through protests of animal cruelty, unnecessary danger due to amateurs and know it alls participating in an event that regularly kills the most experienced hands and Tori Spelling’s intermittent involvement on both sides of the argument, the newly minted sporting version or Rattlesnake Round up has gone ahead and been applauded by sporting aficionados.
Originally little more than an event hosted by small towns on an independent basis a local strongman decided to open it up to the world to make some money. With a cunning marketing campaign about proving manhood, dicing death and by offering cut price rates on everything from hookers to moonshine to any TV crew willing to film the event gained considerable notoriety.
Naturally assorted animal rights groups protested, however when several tried to form a protective circle around a group of rattlesnakes all were bitten and required treatment.
Even then two activists attempted to hug the serpents, with predictable results.
Since then protests have been limited to sullen sulking at the edge of events.
And events have been exciting. Still in early days rules have yet to be fully formalised. At the moment there are both team and individual events, both centred on the simple rounding up and containing of rattlesnakes, which are then milked for their venom or studied, as would normally occur after a round up. Apparently even though this is a sporting event the organisers are not about to simply waste the effort.
As an inaugural event there was little to report, which may prove to be the bane of the sport. Seasoned veterans proved to be the most adept, naturally, with a few young talents in the individual contests.
Naturally all did not go smoothly. Several countries, mostly China, Australia and South Africa, sent competitors. The Australians were particularly cocky, their country holds the most poisonous species period, and thought rattlesnakes would be little different than what they had faced.
The highest fatalities were, unfortunately, among the foreign competitors. Part of this is due to the lack of wild rattlesnakes anywhere else in the world, part of it is over confidence, part of it is also no one inside the US and outside of the rattlesnake’s habitat being crazy enough to do something like this, a true rarity.
Critics claim that this is the first step in voyeur TV, with ratings spiking just after injuries, and downloads on video sites of the injuries being particularly popular.
Indeed this may become a death sport, however without a little more flash over substance it is unlikely to be able to compete against Rollerball or ice hockey.
As a young sport who’s main appeal is a very real danger element it is probably best that it stays away from things such as cheerleaders, blazing advertising and other flashy gimmicks and trade on it’s honest appeal for the moment.
At some point however they are going to have to employ these things, perhaps taking a leaf from nude Rollerball or flasher ice hockey to sexy things up a little.
And then we’ll really have people watching to see what is bitten.