Past Sports from the past week.

Past sports article for the week of 2/21/07

Dust Bunnies Take to the Field…sortof
By, Puns McKenna

That's right sports fans! It's time once again for Dust Bunny Sports. What is this atrocious sounding event? Oh, my friends, I thought you'd never ask.

Have you ever wondered why Dust Bunnies congregate in one place? Have you ever wondered just where all those Dust Bunnies come from? Well I'll tell you my friends. Well they do say Bunnies multiply, but seriously... Dust Bunnies love baseball. They come from all over the house to enjoy that wily sport. But they only come out to play when no one's looking. The rest of the time they simply lie about in dark corners.
And then we have…

Dust Bunny Decathlon…

With toothpicks for javelins and wadded paper for weights, this ten-sport event is the toast of the Dust Bunny world. They prepare special tracks beneath the bed and hold a race each day. Discuses are made from pop bottle tops and shot puts resemble fishing weights. And these bunnies just go wild.
On another page of sports, we have…

Dust Bunnies engaged in free-style skating antics…
Did you ever wonder what all those lumps under your bed were? Have you ever taken one out and looked at it? Have you searched for the answers without luck?

Well look no farther. The intriguingly shaped little lumps are ramps and obstacles for our little dusty friends. That's right, while we're not looking, those inventive little Dust Bunnies are donning their skates and grabbing their skateboards.

Ever hear a little thud or something tumbling completely out of the blue? That, of course, is those little devils crashing off their ramps and boards and skates. Not to worry, though, No Dust Bunnies are harmed in the writing of this article.
Moving on we'll cover that indelible sport we all remember from childhood…

The Great Dust Bunny Spelling Bee….
That's right folks, Dust Bunnies excel at spelling. They've never met a word they didn't like. This reporter was recently witness to the Great Dust Bunny Spelling Bee. A marvelous event let me tell you. Dozens of little bunnies gathered under the bed one night. They sat in rows of tiny chairs fashioned from odd bits of material. And at the front of the congregation was a small stage with eleven tiny chairs. The eleven contestants sat up on the stage and spelled the words they were given. As each Bunny was eliminated, I saw them bounding off the stage to cheer their comrades on.

In the end, I small dust Bunny with a floppy ear was chosen as winner. I'm afraid I didn't get to interview the wee one as much celebration and feasting commenced. What was the winning word, you ask? Mitochondrion.