Past Sports from the past week.

Past sports article for the week of 1/11/09

We can go ice fishing in our skivvies. Polar bears do it all the time, why can’t we? Simply pick our most fashionable skivvies and gather our gear. Fishing pole, really sharp knife (for cutting iceholes), bait, and parkas. What? You don’t expect me to go out there in the –58° weather without a parka, do you? Now wouldn’t that be silly. If ice fishing isn’t for you, how about skydiving with a lawn and leaf bag?

It can’t be done? Nonsense! Of course it can be done... anything can be done! You just have to do it right. Okay, so aside from jumping out of a perfectly good airplane (Something I can’t figure out why anyone would do). Why don’t we add a Glad™ Lawn and Leaf bag to the mix? Of course, your dive instructor is going to question why you want to jump with a garbage bag, but you’ll simply tell him it’s something to do other than watch the Suprabowl. If that doesn’t grab you, how about nose picking?

Okay, it doesn’t sound all that interesting on the surface. In fact it sounds down right yuck, but that’s only if you follow this creedo. “You can pick your nose. You can pick your friends. But you can’t pick your friend’s nose.” Now that the grossness is out of the way, that isn’t the kind of nose picking I was referring to. I was actually referring to picking a schnoz, a physical shape of a nose. You could have plastic surgery. It would be as equally painful as watching a bunch of sweating male egotists beat each other up for a piece of pigskin. But, hey, if that still doesn’t grab you… You could do a geeky thing like me.

Want the height of supreme geekiness? Play an RPG or Miniatures game. My game of choice is Battletech. Yep, that’s right! Instead of watching the egotists, I’m going to be playing Battletech. Now, I won’t be going out of the house to do it, and I won’t be having a load of friends over to play with me. It’ll just be my son and me. We’ll play a few games. And you can rest assured, there won’t be any football anything on the tv. We’ll likely be watching Gremlins whilst we game.

So in the infamous words of Dana Carvy... “Game on!” Maybe the Superbowl is that game for you, but just think of all the other goofy things you could be doing.