Life is like climbing a mountain. It's an exhilarating and exhausting. With faith and experience comes wisdom and strength. Happy climbing & becoming!
Choices, Choices, Choices
Which Lens?
Purpose of Life
All-Knowing Heavenly Father"
Unforgiving is Presumptuous
Relationships 
Friendships
Secondhand Stress
Forgiveness is Good Medicine
Money
Respect
Disagreeing without being Disagreeable
Quit Bellyaching
Make your Choice
Get with the Eternal Program
Choices, Choices, Life is full of Choices
 The voice of Christianity warns, "Be not deceived, God is not mocked, for
whatsoever a man soweth, that he shall also reap."
The voice of the sciences seconds, "Every action has an equal and opposite
reaction."
And even the man-on-the-street echoes, "What goes around comes around."
Experience, God, the scientist and the streetwise understand this common-sense
law. Call it the Law of the Harvest, the Law of Physics, the law of the street
or the boomerang effect; it is dreadfully real that actions for good or evil
will bring results which either enlarge or limit one's freedom.
Which Lens?
Our lives are a jumble of mortal experiences which can be understood with the
lens of faith or the lens of the world. Either process will yield a coherent
story. One interpretation blesses us; the other burdens. The choosing is ours.
As for me, I write my life story with God as the hero and growth as the theme.
I now recognize that from birth until death, we each have the experiences
needed to minister to our growth and we are always free to choose.
As we make sense of our lives we add to our story line. We let in more light or
we groan in the darkness. Some of us cling to the miserable but safely familiar
plot line. Some of us open our minds to see His purposes. We all do it
imperfectly.
May we each search, find, cherish, follow Light.
Purpose of Life
There is a war waging on earth for the souls of man. Whose side are we on-- the world or Gods? Each soul must decide. If you don't decide, you've decided by default the world and Satan is the god of this world.
Heavenly Father loves us completely and has given us this earth and everything we need. He wants us to CHOOSE HIM AND GIVE OUR WILL TO HIM AND TO BECOME LIKE HIM. This is the purpose of life!
All-Knowing Heavenly Father
We are upon this earth under the wise direction of an all-knowing Father who desires that we grow and progress in our joy and righteousness. We must be tested, tried and purged to be like Him in order that we might experience a fullness of joy as He has. God is with us in the journey of purging and refining—fire purges out the dross and fire cleanses the inner soul. Fire is the Spirit of God which we can always have with us if we but remember Him.
When we come to know the true nature of God our faith can increase, our joy can expand and our eye can be single to the glory of God. Three things are necessary in order that any rational and intelligent being may exercise faith in God unto life and salvation.
1. God actually exists.
2. God's character, perfections, and attributes.
3. Actual knowledge that the course of life which [one] is pursuing is according to [God's] will
As we plant the seed of faith and water and nourish it with all diligence by acting upon the truths revealed in the Holy Scriptures, the path will open for us to one day know with a perfect comprehension, as Isaiah knew. Isaiah was one whose faith had been made perfect by knowledge.
When we ponder Isaiah's pure and comprehensive testimony of God's attributes, characteristics and perfections our faith will grow as a tree of life nourished by the river of salvation. That tree of faith will be planted as if in the Garden of Eden, watered by the natural mists of light and love from Heavenly Father. Our tree, our soul will grow in that nourishing environment as we draw closer to the Lord and ever nearer to a perfect knowledge of Him. And on that bright day when our faith becomes dormant as our knowledge is perfected, at that moment when we are brought back into a fullness of His burning presence, we will be able to pluck the pure white fruit of the tree of life and eat with a fullness of joy.
Unforgiveness is Presumptuous
A bright, sensitive young man tells about his recent battle with his brother. Harsh words and threats were exchanged. "I will forgive him, if he says sorry. I rather like being estranged. He doesn’t come around so much. It is nice not to see him" were his comments.
Without doubt, our selfish, prideful natures tend to grow grudges and culture complaints. The Lord however clearly commands a different path of us. “Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin” (D&C 64:9)
We want those who offend us/hurt us to suffer, don't we? Maybe the failure to forgive suggests that we think we should be able to regulate the flow of His grace. No one should be redeemed unless I approve.
Perhaps God is telling us in this remarkable scripture that we do not have veto power on His acts of redemption. When we presume to declare someone undeserving, we show our pettiness and ingratitude. We clearly do not understand our own dependence on His grace.
Another thing I've noticed is growing grudges is habit forming, cumulative and a very dangerous path. Repent. Get really good at forgiving. God will help you. We are never alone when we know how to pray. I know God is there for us always.
It is easy to tell when we are imposing our own miserable sentences on one another and when we see with the mind of Christ. (I Corinthians 2:16). The former attitude feels gloomy and constricted, the latter feels edifying and gracious.
When we are filled with God’s grace and goodness, forgiveness comes readily. Judging then becomes primary to the process of discerning how to wisely bless another mortal traveler.
Relationships
Indulge me to share & compare horse/rider relationship with God/man & man/man relationships. With God, we are the "horse". Think of a beautiful, highly trained dressage horse; alert, attentive, capable, strong, valiant, obedient to the riders promptings. We must turn our will over to God (as horse does to rider) who can make a lot more of our lives than we can. Here's an interesting line in a poem: "Things are in the saddle and ride mankind" (Emerson, in an Ode to W.H. Channing)
With our fellow man, think of being the "rider". Everyone is a leader in certain spheres, thus has the responsiblity to learn to relate well, which means friendly, fairly and firmly. (as needed) Horse nor man will be "governed successfully" by harshness, duplicity, loudness, aggressiveness, force. These actions confuse, frighten, offend man and beast.
There is a sad scripture story(1Sam 3;11-14) of a prophet, a father who didn't teach his sons very well.
The Lord spoke to Samuel clearly indicating that Eli had not been an appropriate father, had been too permissive with his sons --"had restrained them not". The High Priest rebuked Eli saying he had sinned by placing his sons and their relationship as more important that his relationship with the Lord.
The ensuing punishment to Eli and his family are tragic, (1Sam4), but instructive.
We must ask ourselves, "in what ways are we tempted to preserve our relations with family and friends over our relationship with our Father and Savior?" It is not a little ironic that we who seek to preserve our mortal relations by avoiding the conflicts incidental to gospel teaching and correcting may well ultimately lose those relationships in the eternities because we and they did not achieve the level of obedience necessary for celestial life. As the Lord has said, "He who seeketh to save this life [preserve the status quo relations] shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it" (
A great quote by Joseph F. Smith says it well--
"Fathers, ( I'll add mothers) if you wish your children to be taught in the principles of the gospel, if you wish them to love the truth and understand it, if you wish them to be obedient to and united to you, love them! And prove to them that you do love them by your every word or act to them. For your own sake, for the love that should exist between you and your boys (I'll add girls)--however wayward they might be…when you speak or talk to them, do it not in anger, do it not harshly, in a condemning spirit. Speak to them kindly; get down and weep with them if necessary and get them to feel tenderly toward you. Use no lash and no violence…approach them with reason, with persuasion and love unfeigned. You can't force your boys, nor your girls into heaven. [But] You may force them to hell, by using harsh means in the efforts to make them good, when you yourselves are not as good as you should be. "
Friendships
In the broadest sense, we should be friends with everyone, showing respect and
kindness to all.
However, we must choose wisely our best friends, those we share our hearts with. Choose friends that help you feel good about yourself, who strengthen you, that want you to be happy, healthy, and righteous. Choose friends that believe in you, because they want you to be the very best you can be. We need real friends, all-season type to share happy times with and to help through times of weakness and sorrow.
Learn to be a friend and you will have friends.
In summary, be a friend to everyone; be inclusive. Choose carefully and wisely your
best friends.
Secondhand Stress
I've heard of secondhand smoke, but the term secondhand stress is new to me. I know the fallout from another's stress has a powerful negative domino effect on me. I habitually get caught up in other people's emotions and the anxiety becomes great. With effort I keep foremost in my mind that this negativity/stress isn't my problem and therefore I can't fix it. I've learned the hard way some strategies for coping with secondhand stress-----
Step Aside----This has been a most useful strategy for me & I've just recently clued into this wisdom. Now when I'm "bombarded" by "negative forces" I say to myself, "I'm not them." I keep my identity separate. I care. I try to give them gentle suggestions. When my anxiety gets high or my voice gets loud; I know I'm losing my separateness and starting to own their problem. I do some more self-talk and with effort am steadfast and immovable.
Respect Withdrawal --- If someone doesn't want to talk, it's wise to simply say, "When you're ready, let's talk."
Disarm anger --- Find something in his anger you can agree with, so he feels you're on his side. Try to empathize to lesson your own agitation. Don't take verbal attack personally. The pain you feel is probably close to pain they feel.
Use Humor ---I think humor is refreshing, but it can also be used incorrectly. Rudeness, disrespect cease to be humorous very quickly in my books.
Be Part of the Solution ---Give gentle suggestions, solutions. Give Support. Listen and ask questions that will let them sort through their stress. Make an effort to be patient and understanding and show love. Encourage talk about feelings, but shift attention from the emotional to the practical by asking what their plans are.
Forgiveness is Good Medicine
We're all human. We must not hold others up to rigid expectations, or we're setting ourselves up for disappointment. As we offer forgiveness, our identity will not be as the victim, but as one of power in the face of adversity.
Forgiveness is not denying you're angry or pretending the injury didn't hurt. It's not the act of reconciling--indeed, you can forgive the offender but choose not to resume the relationship.
Forgiveness is to reframe how one feels about the offence. It is moving from a "personal grievance story" to a revised version where you are no longer a victim When we can understand and even feel with the offender, we can forgive and be at peace.
Forgiveness is easiest to hold on to if we declare it. Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves so we can feel healthier and happier.
Money
Money may be the husk of many things, but not the kernel. It buys food, but not appetite; medicine, but not health; acquaintances, but not friends; days of joy, but not peace or happiness"
I believe the true foundation and perspective towards finances are;
Law #1;Pay your tithing. God has given us all things, & tithing is his law. I look at tithing (10% of our increase) as rent we pay to live on this earth. Tithing also helps us to own our money rather than money own us. (Remember, to each commandment there is tied a blessing, including this one)
Law #2; Spend less than you earn.
The key to spending less than we earn is simple. It is called discipline. Whether early in life or late, we must all eventually learn to discipline ourselves, our appetites, and our economic desires. How blessed is he who learns to spend less than he earns and puts something away for a rainy day.
Law #3; Distinguish between needs and wants. The resources that have been placed in our power are good, and necessary to our work here on the earth. Notwithstanding your financial situation, everyone has to be watchful that they don't worship things ie. false gods. Don't be a slave to greed, lust, or unsatisfied desires.
Law #4: Develop and live within a budget
President Gordon B. Hinckley said "I am satisfied that money is the root of more trouble in marriage than all other causes combined." Marriage partners having equal voices, desiring a loving relationship,are more likely to find mutually satisfying solutions to financial disagreements. Effective communication in financial matters includes a knowledge of income and expenses by both spouses. Problems arise when one spouse makes financial decisions rather than an united partnership.
Law #5; Attitude from Deep Feelings associated with Unmet Needs;
Because some attitudes and decisions about money stem from deep feelings associated with unmet needs, or other influences, both men and women need to examine their own feelings regarding money. Failure to identify and resolve such fundamental issues can keep a family in financial chaos for many years.
Open communication, reasonable expectations and limits, cooperating in the budgeting process, eliminating and avoiding debt, families can become free from the devastating debt trap and enjoy greater peace of mind and harmony in their homes.
We who labor for a living in the minefields of mortality must take some thought for our lives and our livelihood, what we eat and drink and wear. "Six days shalt thou labor . . ." is also a part of the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20:9). These things, however, can not be our primary priority, for we must "seek . . . first the kingdom of God and his righteousness . . ." (Matthew 6:33). But it is not generally required of us to seek it exclusively, as it was and is of the Twelve and some others called to a special ministry in the kingdom.
Respect
Respect means to feel or show honor and esteem, to show consideration for.
Respect and disrespect has many forms ranging from subliminal to open. We each
need to be alert, aware, diligently andcontinuously search our own heart, and repent as needed.
Remember the other persons heart is not our responsibility.
How should we respond when we receive continuous disrespect?
( I think I know the answer) Speak up, & clearly, firmly communicate the problem to that someone that you are
teaching 'who doesn't know right behavior yet.' If, over time, nothing changes--Do plan B; which is to distance yourself from
perpetrator. It is kind of like going through the forest with a buddy. If the
branches are whipping in your face-- you are too close.
It is imperative
to always remember to be friends & respectful to
that someone 'who has not yet learned right behavior', because they are valuable & important.
(I believe the only true, reliable, completely safe relationship/companion is the Holy Ghost. Us 'earthlings' are all in-process of completion/perfection, therefore are apt to hurt one another overtly and inadvertantly)
We are on earth to 'grow up' while we grow old. Truth is; growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.
Disagreeing without being Disagreeable
As normal as anger and fear are, a certain level of self-control is required in
dealing with those strong feelings.
Whenever we allow contention to grow, things become darker and less manageable.
Trying to win an argument, or convince another person that our way is "right"
no matter the cost, is not a win-win situation for anyone.
We might win the battle, but we lose the war. Guess what? It isn't worth it.
Contention in any form -- whether it is argument, sarcasm, or "debate" -- is a
negative that harms the human soul. We are all much happier when everyone works
at maintaining peace.
Wouldn't it be nice if we could treat everyone in our lives with enough love
and kindness to keep the peace?
Five steps for alleviating contention are simple to understand, a little more
difficult to practice on a continual basis, but so worth the effort!
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Pray to have the love of God in your heart.
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Discipline your tongue.
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Don't allow emotions to take over; rather, reason together.
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Refuse to get embroiled in the same old patterns of argument and confrontation.
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Practice speaking in a soft, calm voice.
It is sometimes necessary to vent frustrations. Some people find it helps to
exercise. Some clean house. Some cry. Others pray. When things are not going your way,
disagreements come, or confrontation sneaks in, practice that form of venting
which best helps you, but keeps the adversary out of the picture. He isn't
worth it. That battle of the moment probably isn't worth it. Letting off steam
just heats everything up, doesn't it?
Let us exercise more self-control, work harder at maintaining peace in our
family and in our friendships. We may just be able to rid ourselves of
contention altogether!
Quit Bellyaching
I never saw a wild thing
Sorry for itself.
A small bird will drop frozen dead
From a bough
Without ever having felt sorry for itself.
– D. H. Lawrence
I remember one of my dads sayings was "Quit your bellyaching". Somehow we have become a society that complains in private & in public too much. When we complain we;Overlook great examples of beauty around us,
Miss our most important opportunities,
Manage to make ourselves miserable by expecting something even better to come along.
Every time we whine about how tough we have it, we make it harder for the souls around us to appreciate their blessings. We encourage people to overlook the things they have. We provide a context to dismiss everything as not good enough, to be miserable in the midst of plenty.
Don't get me wrong -- many things are unjust. There is much we should struggle against until they are made right. One of my pet peeves is listening to people that not only make themselves miserable, but infect others with their negative attitude.)
Let us remember the good things, let us be cheerful, & not fear. Let us give encouraging words to those around us, make them feel welcome on the planet Earth (many do not).
Make your Choice
(See Luke 7;36) We may take upon us the yoke of Christ or carry the burdens of the world .
Will we be like the woman(sinful) and repent of our sins and take on the yoke of Christ or will we be like Simon and remain under the heavy burden of sin ?
How we choose determines our happiness in this life and our destiny in the next.
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WOMAN (Sinful)
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SIMON THE PHARISEE
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repentant
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no desire to change
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respectful
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lack of courtesy
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humble
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proud
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no prejudice
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judgemental
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faith
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unbelieving
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Get with the Eternal Program
Let us get with the eternal program
See the eternal light
Be inspired
Be compelled
To a practical, pragmatic, working faith.
Faith which moves us to our knees
To plead for guidance
And then having a measure of divine confidence
Moves us to our feet
To go to work
To bring to pass righteousness.
Make it a good day!
A few of My Favorite Internet Links
Simple On-line Basic Computer Courses;
Learn Word
Learn Windows98
I love listening to these talks while cleaning or cooking;
Speeches at BYU (various topics)
Overcoming Negative Relationships
Scholarly Discussions on Christ
Scripture Study--I use these along with scriptures and manual to teach New Testament this year;
Gospel Doctrine
Israel Revealed
General Good Read;
Official Church Website--->Words of Prophets, Leaders, Eternal Truth
What do Mormons Believe-->Great site with FAQs
Meridian Magazine
Marriage and Parenting
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