Armpit Parade

originally posted: 06/10/02

Brought to you by my Dad and his collection of colorful country idioms. If something (or someone) was particularly unattractive, he would refer to it as being "uglier than a windrow of armpits."

I've heard quite a few good ones over the years, ranging from Aunt Eva's "sheeeeuuuuut faaaahr" ("Well, I'll be darned!") to "slicker than deer guts on a doorstep" (smooth/slick/impressive). I'm especially fond of the ones that recall our farming/ranching roots here in the Midwest, like the hopeful "Good Lord willin' an' the creek don't rise" ("If we're lucky") and the skeptical "That'll take an act of God and six horses."

From other parts of the country:

My favorite English teacher in high school, Mrs. Bray, introduced us to the Southern gem "Don't git yer undies (or knickers) in a bunch (or twist)."
A college friend from Georgia was fond of saying "Well, I'll be dipped." I thought that was a pretty good one, but it got even better when I realized that the full expression is "Well, I'll be dipped in [doo-doo]," but Steven was too much a Southern gent to utter the last part.
When I was in school in Maine, I learned "It's a pissah (pisser)," which refers to a nasty Atlantic storm, or something equally devastating and unpreventable.

These are just a few. I know there's a Dictionary of Regional English floating around out there somewhere with my name on it, but until I get my hands on it, fill me in! Come on, what do you say?