One of my favorite Far Sides shows a number of limp chickens sprawled like beanbag toys on fences and on the ground. The sign above the gate reads "Boneless Chicken Ranch." Now we know where the supermarket gets them.
Truth can be stranger than the Far Side, though, believe it or not. I've been alerted by Mr. Skeeter that researchers for the Agricultural Research Service (the chief scientific research agency of the U.S. Department of Agriculture) have genetically engineered — are you ready for this? — featherless chickens. Yep, that's right. Featherless chickens. Scientists were concerned that the feather follicles of normal chickens harbored harmful bacteria, so they bred some unfeathered friends to solve the problem. It didn't work, though; the bacteria count was the same on both the regular and preplucked chickens.
That's right, people, our government is funding research into featherless chickens. Yet another strategy for making the world safe for democracy.