I Hate Paper Towels

originally posted: 04/03/02

Brought to you by my hatred of paper towels.

I'm not talking about the Brawny kind you use to wipe up kitchen spills. Those are fine. Those are great. I use 'em all the time. No, I'm talking about the cheap, dingy grey ones in restrooms, the kind that disintegrate the moment you touch them with wet hands to pull them from the dispenser. So you've got damp fibers clinging to your fingers, your hands are still wet, and now you've left a messy, gouged-out towel dangling from the dispenser. You can grab at it again with slightly drier fingers and hope it comes out, or dry your hands on your pants and then pry it out, or just leave the unsightly mess for the next restroom patron. Not a lot of attractive options there. And don't even get me started on how overstuffing the dispenser compounds the problem.

And then, of course, you have to deal with throwing your used grey fibers away. I don't know about you, but my basketball career peaked in the ninth grade, and my aim hasn't gotten any better since then. So you pitch it, you miss, you scoop it up off the filthy bathroom floor . . . and then you need to wash your hands again and relive the whole nightmare.

ACK! From now on I'm just going to use the air dryer.