Kelvis Is King

originally posted: 03/08/02

Brought to you by MarsCon 2002. It's the fifth and final day of MarsCon Week!

Just when you think you've seen everything at a science fiction/fantasy convention, Kelvis enters the building. Kelvis was entry #2, and the eventual second-place winner, in the grand masquerade, the costume contest. He is none other than the Klingon version of Earth's very own Elvis Presley. Picture if you will a ridgy-headed, long-haired Klingon warrior in sunglasses and a skin-tight white sequined jumpsuit, complete with cape. On the back of the cape was stenciled the tripointed emblem of the Klingon Empire in silver and bronze. Kelvis ascended the stage to the strains of "Heartbreak Hotel" and performed half a minute's worth of the song for us, strumming his batleth like a dangerous guitar. The audience earned a "Thangyouvurrahmuch" for its ovation.

Later that evening, I had the privilege of dancing with Kelvis in person at the Batleth Bingo party. We boogied down to surf music, and Kelvis awarded me his red scarf for shaking my pleather-clad booty. (He was hinting at a trade for my hot-pink feather boa, but I held out.) Boy, I gotta tell ya, Klingons sure do work up a macho sweat when they dance, and their jumpsuits sure do need a trip to the cleaners. I heard later that Kelvis gave an impromptu karaoke concert in the Tulip Lounge around 2:00 a.m. I'm sorry I missed that.

Myself, I thought Kelvis should have won the costume contest, but first prize went to another Klingon dressed as an interstellar tourist. I guess even The King can't win 'em all.

Thanks for joining me on my trip down very-recent-memory lane. If you want to see what else I've been up to — and it ain't much — check out the latest Adventures in Judo on my home page/journal archives. And send more recipes!