Wyld Stallyns

originally posted: 06/05/02

Brought to you by 80s cinema classic Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, which starred Keanu Reeves (who went on to become a Really Big Star despite his lack of acting talent) and Alex Winter (who, because he earned his stripes on Broadway and was probably a fairly accomplished actor, has vanished into the never-never-land of directing and producing). Wyld Stallyns was the name of Bill and Ted's garage band. In the movie, the two numbskull title characters travel through time, learning just enough from historical figures to pass their final history test and graduate from high school.

I don't know about you other 80s survivors, but I loved this movie. Like a basset puppy tripping over its own ears, it was so crashingly stupid yet engagingly cute, I couldn't help it. The messages of the film were simple:

  1. Music rocks!
  2. History texts are totally bogus.
  3. Time travel rocks!
  4. Being conventional is totally bogus.
  5. George Carlin, who rocks, makes cameo appearances in phone booths.
  6. Be excellent to each other.

Bill and Ted found their Zen groove before it was fashionable. They rolled with the punches and enjoyed whatever excellent adventures came their way. They had their wyld sides, sure, but for the most part they managed to be laid-back and mellow. They had no problems too large to be fixed by a quick trip to the Circle K convenience store.

Who could argue with that kind of philosophy? Not me. Too busy wondering how Jane Austen would have felt about the Internet. Dude!