bowlinggreat

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Bowling
everything you will ever need to know

The secret to successful bowling is knowledge ~
and learning :
the proper body mechanics
the approach
the aim
the right equipment
the lane conditions
and the right cuss words

My first lesson with my 'Bowling Instructor'
'Okay, Scooter', he says,
First you have to develop your own style.
So now I am mentally creating an image,
should I walk real fast, or run slow,
should I take 3 steps or 4 ?
Do I start off with my right foot or my left foot ?
Should I lose the wiggle ?
What do I do with the other hand ?
Should I hold it out like I am an airplane, or should I keep it close to my side ?
Should I bend down real far, or just squat ?
well I cancelled that first lesson until I could observe some
real bowlers in action...
it was Monday night at the local alley...Womans' League...
I sat down and decided i would just watch and pick out
the style I liked best...sorta like a fashion show....
I was watching Suzy on lane one-
She walked up to the line, looked down at her feet, looked back up, then down at her feet again
then started to step ahead, then stop, then go...
I was getting impatient...come on go, already...
finally she swung her right arm out, way back and promptly dropped the ball.
Nope didn't like that style
Next I looked over at Gladys on lane 3...
She had to weigh at least 300 pounds. so I figured I would take note on what muscles actually move - what everyone watching would see...
She approached the starting line,
Holding the ball with two hands, staring straight ahead,
looking good...
and for some reason that has me stumped- she got up on her
tippy toes and ran....
reminded me of that cartoon hippo ballerina
Okay, Okay I said to myself there are alot more to observe.
So now my eyes focused on this tall attractive blonde,
who walked up to the starting line with an air of confidence,
this has to be it....
There she was, in all her glory, perfect stance, perfect posture,
holding her ball at midsection in front of her, taking one step at a time, swinging her ball backwards, ready for the delivery-
and then it happened...on the last step instead of sliding, her
feet got tangled up...and threw a gutterball.
that was when I noticed she was pigeon-toed
Next, I moved further down the lane to 8, and there
was Molly...sweet, sweet Molly..
she was built just like me, same weight, same height..this has to be the one, I was so sure....
As I observed her, it looked like she was tugging on the back of her pants, I guess she had a wedgie...
She put her hand over the air thing, oh looks so professional....
grabbed her towel and wiped her ball....
then she did it...
She walked up to the line and preceded to swipe each foot over and over the line...like a chicken scratching...
I couldn't bear to watch her...was afraid she would lay an egg
Well I didn't want to give up just yet...
thought I could find some kind of style...
Next was Ruth....
Her approach was good, her steps nice and smooth..
and then she bent over so far you couldn't see the top half of her.
nope...I didn't want to be a bullseye for anyone..
I gave up, went home, and called my coach-
Instead of style - can't I just Bowl ???

Next comes- Having the right Equipment
I decided to visit the local pro shop
I needed a nice pretty ball with matching shoes, and
matching bag, and of course I wanted a color- coordinated towel.
Well, I wasn't prepared for this man.. obviously...
He started to ask all kinds of questions...
He was throwing out words like...
Pitch...Grip...Top Weights...Side Weights...Thumb and Finger Weight..
Shell Hardness...Shell Porosity..Weight Distribution..
Rubber...Plastic...Polyurethane
For goodness sake..man..
I am WOMAN
all I want is a pretty, shiny lookin' something in pink...
Getting Started
First Night Of Bowling
I arrive at the lanes full of confidence
deciding that I don't need a fancy style, my ball is beautiful, and really shiny, my shoes have matching shoelaces, my bag
and towel are all color-co-ordinated.
I am all set.
The game is ready to start...
Oh no, was I supposed to have holes drilled into my new ball ?
Oh well
guess I will have to use a' house ' ball.
I am filled with knowledge,
and
confidence.
Then as I stepped up to my approach
it happened....
I looked at my feet, then at the pins, then back at my feet, then I started the chicken scratch... which made me feel a
wedgie coming on,
I hesitated then got up on my tippy toes and ran...
went over the foul line
dropped the ball
heard my pants rip
and realized I knew a few more #$@# words then I thought.