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My daughter made a statement the other day, she said that we should all eat like the Cavemen did, after all they never had to diet... So I got to thinking..What did their diet consist of ? Meat, maybe wild dinosaur meat, reptiles, bugs,plants,berries,nuts,bird eggs,fish and roadkill ~ (small animals that the dinosaurs stepped on ) It all amounts to the low-carb-high-protein diet- No bread or carbohydrates- Let's take a look at the daily menu and shopping list of the cavemans diet. Now remember- the men were the Hunters and the woman were the Gatherers... That means the woman had to gather up all the bones the men left laying around the cave... While the men were out Hunting, the woman were busy picking berries, nuts, leaves, anything to eat, especially if their man wasn't a good hunter. It's the same today..how many men go on a weekend hunting or fishing trip and bring nothing home ! Okay..for this stories' sake, we will name our caveman Herman and cavewoman Bertha. Herman wakes up in the morning and asks Bertha what there is to eat, She brings him some berries, and an apple and tells him it's time to go hunting (shopping) he moans and groans about it, after all he will miss his favorite TV show- Jerry Springer~ That's right !, Have you ever seen a man without a television ? Herman has come up with a sensible plan- he thinks ... "Look, Bertha..you stand out in front of our cave, and I will hide in the bushes with my big club, when a hyena sees you, start making funny faces at it, and I will sneak up behind him and club him !" 
(sort of like your present -day hubby sitting in the car, while you go inside and do all the shopping) Now while you are standing there being vulnerable, acting as bait.. (it's a well known fact that cavemen would drag their women by the hair, in order to intice a mammal to come closer) Herman decides to take a nap... what do you do ? You go back inside the cave and hide the remote! Then you find out, while you were outside, acting as bait, your children were inside writing on all the walls! Not with crayolas either (they hadn't been invented yet) They used a sharp stone and carved their pictures in the walls. Explain that one to your landlord ! So while Herman is snoring in the bushes, you know you have to have dinner on the table as soon as he wakes up, so you forage through the woods for edible stuff. Then you have to build the cooking fire, you burn alot of calories by rubbing two sticks together he burns a lot of calories looking for the remote Okay so you have gathered- some eggs and greens and berries and mushrooms..you are ready to invent the Omelet. You take the hub cap, from the wheel he has invented You place the hubcap over the fire, crack open the eggs, mix in all the other stuff and Dinner is served. The next day, there is a re-run of the Jerry Springer show, so he decides to go hunting. He comes back ,dragging this buffalo, and says to you "Don't say, I never bring you anything " While he feigns tiredness, you have to skin that buffalo,tan the hide, cut off all the fat, and chop the meat into tiny pieces... because your dental plan doesn't cover HMO's to get new teeth then go to the woods and search for vegetables. Because without roughage you would get constipated. 
Typical man
The Caveman's
Diet...No Way!
© Scooterchase |
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