AL GORE - I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore,
the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two 
different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed
to bring greater services to the American people.

RALPH NADER - The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had 
been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach 
the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed 
by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN - To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH - I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet 
it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll
bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help
chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much 
more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by 
their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, 
money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART - If the chicken crossed the road on my property, I would be 
fully justified in blocking its exit until the local authorities could 
arrive to arrest it for trespassing. I am a private person and should not 
have to be subjected to the "innocent mistakes" of common chickens.

JERRY FALWELL - Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you 
people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken
was going to the"other side. "That's what "they" call it - the "other side." 
Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will 
become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this 
abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless 
phrases like "the other side."

DR. SEUSS - Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? 
Yes! The chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY - To die. In the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. - I envision a world where all chickens will be free 
to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA - In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed The road. Someone 
told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

BARBARA WALTERS - Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will
be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story 
of how it overcame a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its 
lifelong dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON - Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

ARISTOTLE - It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX - It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSEIN - This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite 
justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

VOLTAIRE - I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to 
the death its right to do it.

RONALD REAGAN - What chicken?

CAPTAIN KIRK - To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER - You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How Many more 
chickens have to cross before you believe it?

FREUD - The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the 
road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES - I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross 
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your 
checkbook--- and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of e-Chicken.

EINSTEIN - Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road
move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON - I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What Do you mean 
by chicken? Could you define chicken please?

LOUIS FARRAKHAN - The road, you will see, represents the black man. The 
chicken crossed the "black man" in order to Trample him and keep him down.

THE BIBLE - God came down from the heavens, and He said Unto the chicken," 
Thou shalt cross the road" And the chicken crossed the road, and there was 
much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS - Did I miss one?