This 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died in a car
crash. They had been in good health the last ten years mainly due to her interest in
health food, and exercise.

When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion which
was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and master bath suite and Jacuzzi. As they
looked the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.
"It's free," Peter replied, "this is Heaven."
 

Next they went out back to survey the championship golf course that the home
backed up to. They would have golfing privileges everyday and each week the
course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on earth.
 

The old man asked, "what are the green fees?". Peter's reply,
"This is heaven, you play for
free."
 
 

Next they went to the club house and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisines of
the world laid out. "How much to eat?" asked the old man.
 

"Don't you understand
yet?  This is heaven, it is free!" Peter replied with some exasperation. "Well, where
are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?" the old man asked timidly. Peter
lectured, "That's the best part...you can eat as much as you like of whatever you
like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven."

With that the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat and stomping
on it, and shrieking wildly. Peter and his wife both tried to calm him down, asking
him what was wrong. The old man looked at his wife and said,
"This is all your fault.
If it weren't for your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here ten years ago!"