Getting old...is getting white hairs from worrying about your
                                         wrinkles. 

                                             *** 
   ....You try to comb your hair so that it doesn't all fall out. 

                                             *** 
 ...You hang your sock on the fireplace and  Santa ignores it. 

                                             *** 
               ...You start to say things like "in my day " 

                                             *** 
 ...You puff and pant when you've just been around the room
                            with the vacuum cleaner. 

                                             *** 
 You know you are really old when you need new false teeth
                because your others are too worn down ! 

                                             *** 
   When you are old your body creaks and your knees knock
                              and your teeth fall out. 

                                             *** 
                                  ...You get floppy. 

                                             *** 
           ...You get very fat or you may get crumpled up. 

                                             *** 
   When you get old you don't have to listen to your mother. 

                                             *** 
    When you get old you don't  have to eat your vegetables. 

                                             *** 
 When you are old you can swim better because booze makes
                      you fat and you will float better. 

                                             *** 
 When you get old and bald, you don't have to wash your hair
                                         anymore. 

                                             *** 

   When you get old you don't have to put all your toys away
                                       every night. 

                                             ***
 You do not have to use your brains so much because they are
                                        a bit rusty. 

                                             *** 
   Old people are good at exaggerating. But deep down they
                are young. There harts still contain love. 

                                             *** 
           When you get old you have a smile like the sun.