The Philosophy on Exercising

1.   It is well documented that for every mile that you jog, you
add one minute to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to
spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per
month.

2.   My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she
was 60.  She's 97 now and we don't know where she is.

3.   The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could
hear heavy breathing again.

4.   I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.

5.   I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain
figures out what I'm doing.

6.   I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes,
he would have put them further up on our body.

7.   I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people
who annoy me.

8.   I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers
them.

9.   The advantage of exercising every day is that you die
healthier.

10.   If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a
small country.

And last but not least:

11.   I don't jog, it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.