Wacky Inventions
that should of been invented
 

A sheepskin blanket that can be placed
around your car in parking lots,
so the idiot who parks next to you,
doesn't scratch your finish when he slams
his car door into yours.
 

An alarm system on the toilet paper
roll, setting off the alarm when the last
person to use it all up, has to replace it.
 
 

A crotch shield to be worn when visiting
folks who have big dogs with long noses.
 
 

A completely "computerized" house,
Press  log on  to add another log to the fireplace,
Press windows and  they are automatically cleaned,
Use download and upload to do the laundry,
Press recycle  to take out the trash,
Use a monitor to watch the kids,
Control all applications of the household
with a device driver.
( I think you get the idea *S*)
 
 

A Special device to point at people who
cut in front of you in line at the grocery store..
something that would make their underwear
fall down around their ankles~ perhaps...
 
 

How about designer colored teeth,
like if you knew you would be eating broccoli,
you would have green teeth, and
no one will have to tell you~ Oh look
you have broccoli in your teeth.
Or red teeth, to camouflage the lipstick
on them...
 

Fly paper that actually catches flies..
Instead of your hair when you walk into it.
Yuk
 

Why doesn't someone invent a way for
disc jockeys to name the title of the song
they are playing..You wait and wait...
and never know what the heck you are listening to.
 
 

Men never ask for directions when you are
traveling...they tell you...just look at the map..
I want a map that says  you are here and
this is where you want to be...
and it would help if they were retractable,
how the heck do these map makers think
they can be refolded ?
 
 

I wish someone would invent a better
'hole' at the top of the glue bottle,  you use it once,
and never get it to come out again.
 

A remote control to override the one the
man of the house uses...
One that you can point at him~
and  zap he is powerless to channel surf.
 
 

How about a Constipation Kit ?
Toilet paper, prune juice, bran flakes,
stick of dynamite, a magazine
and if it works really good
a cork
 
 

A dog bone that actually taste better
than your new pair of shoes.
 
 

A Telephone that would have a real
person at the other end...you would
never have to listen to ...if you want billing
press one, if you have a complaint press
two, blah, blah, blah...
 
 

Product packages that say "Just open
here" would include a chain saw
with it.

And the most important..
A computerized list of what
we should keep in our junk drawers,
you know ~do we need this little piece of wire
in the next five years ?
How about this thing-a-ma-jig ,
whatever it is ...
 

If you would like to add to my list
please email me  HERE
Have a Good Day My Friend...