The disappointing Hermaphrodite.
Mood:  mischievious
Topic: (scary) hospital stories
The A&E MO called me and asked me to come and take a look at a case. She starts talking about a 49-year old male, who is having menorrhagia – Excuse me, did I hear you say male ? – I interrupt her…

- Yeah, yeah, but he’s got both; he’s a ehhrr bisexual….
- You mean he has ambiguous genitals I correct her.
- Yeah exactly, cause I could also see labia and some kind of vagina and there was some yellowish discharge, and the pad he was wearing was fairly soaked, with a slightly foul smell. But I couldn’t see any active bleed…

– Go on, go on, I encourage her, for I’m suddenly damn interested…. She tells me the guy actually claims to have had a monthly bleed for the past 2 years, whereas in the past he never had any of such complaints. He turns out to be married and has 3 kids. While walking down to the A&E, I crack my mind over how after all these years he would suddenly have these periods, and never before sought for medical advice.
When I come down to the A&E, I find a Chinese male, with normal beard growth, dressed in a female model t-shirt with a V-collar and wearing a padded bra, cup size A. A pair of modest, not too conspicuous ladies shoes is on the floor besides the bed. He confirmed the information I already had and hardly added anything, since his command of Malay was as lousy as my Chinese.
I proceed to examine him and on opening the trousers I don’t see anything else than normal developed male genitals. The female Malay Medical Officer who referred the patient suddenly pops in and asks very excited; So how Dr. Ron, what are your findings ??Well, I say, while I lift up the scrotum to expose the anal region to her… I’m a bit disappointed…. Could you please point out to me where it is that you saw the labia and vagina, cause I can only see the “discharge”, referring to some minor remnants of yellowish stools. Ooohh… so that is the anus…. She exclaims spontaneously in the most naive fashion… I’m really sorry Dr. Ron, I really thought I saw labia just earlier, I hope you’re not angry with me… I give her my brightest smile, and reassure her that I’m anything but angry, since she just gave me something to laugh over for the rest of the whole weekend… and I advise her that I’m not the person she wants; it would be better to involve the PSY in this particular case…