Mood:  blue

God, I feel so upset tonight… I really cannot focus on anything. I feel like making a website about my ex-girlfriend, complete with pictures and all… About how she has been cheating me as long as I’ve known her. About not telling me she was carrying my child… About how she lied to the other guy and got him to marry her… about how she made him believe for 4 years he was the father… About how on and off she would contact me, trying to keep me warm in case she might need me in the future… About how she would tell me to forget about being close to my daughter and better to focus on my work, only to subsequently keep on pulling @ me and not allowing me to start a new life... About all the million times she has been manipulating me and lying to me… About how she seems to be using our daughter as bait, as emotional blackmail, as trading material…. I feel emotionally abused, used, raped !

Manipulation-lies-manipulation-lies-manipulation-lies…. There doesn’t seem to be an end to it… Some people never learn and it confirms to me; characters probably never change.

But I don’t want to do all that… I don't want to go as low down to that level... I just want to put on happy things… about my little girl on the webb… even if I’m only a Fly-over-daddy rather than full-time-daddy… I’m there for her, as much as the situation allows me to, with all the sacrifices it has taken so far…

But not like this… I need to take a break from the abuse… temporarily change my phone number… So if I don’t pick up the phone, you know why… you can mail me to get my new number…