Sticky babies
Topic: (scary) hospital stories
Currently I'm in antenatal clinic...
“Doctor, I just swallowed my chewing gum”, the pregnant lady tells me when she enters the room. I smile at her and tell her; “I’m really sorry, but unfortunately I cannot replace your chewing gum. But I can assure you that the chances the gum will end up with your unborn baby are quite small… Of course, if by the time you’re about to deliver and the baby won’t come out readily, then… well then we would have to ask ourselves the question whether the baby didn’t get stuck to the piece of gum you just swallowed and for that reason alone doesn’t want to come out.”

Blues or Jazz ??
Mood:  silly
Topic: Everyday life (weirdness)
Well.. just when I thought the new year 2006 started of a bit tame…. HAPPY NEW YEAR !! By the way everybody…. Anyway, supposed to meet up someone for lunch today, just got to know the person, is rounding up her jazz conservatorium training.. she shows up fashionably late…. Actually, come to think of it… this year actually started out with me showing up consistently in time and the other party being late…. I wonder if it’s gonna be like that for the rest of the year, time will tell I guess…
So we order some mee and have a nice chat… then the afternoon takes a wicked turn and while she turns all green, before we actually realise what’s happening all the mee comes out again… Happy New Year….
Why is is that I always seem to be the epicentre of weird things happening ?? Like… let’s say… 10 on Richter’s scale…

The disappointing Hermaphrodite.
Mood:  mischievious
Topic: (scary) hospital stories
The A&E MO called me and asked me to come and take a look at a case. She starts talking about a 49-year old male, who is having menorrhagia – Excuse me, did I hear you say male ? – I interrupt her…

- Yeah, yeah, but he’s got both; he’s a ehhrr bisexual….
- You mean he has ambiguous genitals I correct her.
- Yeah exactly, cause I could also see labia and some kind of vagina and there was some yellowish discharge, and the pad he was wearing was fairly soaked, with a slightly foul smell. But I couldn’t see any active bleed…

– Go on, go on, I encourage her, for I’m suddenly damn interested…. She tells me the guy actually claims to have had a monthly bleed for the past 2 years, whereas in the past he never had any of such complaints. He turns out to be married and has 3 kids. While walking down to the A&E, I crack my mind over how after all these years he would suddenly have these periods, and never before sought for medical advice.
When I come down to the A&E, I find a Chinese male, with normal beard growth, dressed in a female model t-shirt with a V-collar and wearing a padded bra, cup size A. A pair of modest, not too conspicuous ladies shoes is on the floor besides the bed. He confirmed the information I already had and hardly added anything, since his command of Malay was as lousy as my Chinese.
I proceed to examine him and on opening the trousers I don’t see anything else than normal developed male genitals. The female Malay Medical Officer who referred the patient suddenly pops in and asks very excited; So how Dr. Ron, what are your findings ??Well, I say, while I lift up the scrotum to expose the anal region to her… I’m a bit disappointed…. Could you please point out to me where it is that you saw the labia and vagina, cause I can only see the “discharge”, referring to some minor remnants of yellowish stools. Ooohh… so that is the anus…. She exclaims spontaneously in the most naive fashion… I’m really sorry Dr. Ron, I really thought I saw labia just earlier, I hope you’re not angry with me… I give her my brightest smile, and reassure her that I’m anything but angry, since she just gave me something to laugh over for the rest of the whole weekend… and I advise her that I’m not the person she wants; it would be better to involve the PSY in this particular case…

blleeehhh and beer
Mood:  hug me
Topic: Everyday life (weirdness)
Helping prof in operating theatre last night… Actually nothing extraordinary, since it’s what I mostly do on the Tuesday and Thursday nights, just to survive and get some experience on top of that. Come Ron, let’s go for a drink, prof said, after we finished. It had been a long time, and though my sense of duty told me to go home, eat, study and sleep, my frustration over the latest department nonsense prevailed and I decided to join. We had a couple of drinks and went home timely. That’s how the days pass by…. Tomorrow again 24 hours to go…. Bllleeehhhhhh…

How to be yourself...
Mood:  not sure
Topic: House & Garden Philosophy
Prof S. asked the whole lot who wanted to volunteer to go to Pakistan to do some - mainly delivery - work in the disaster areas overthere. Since I was quite willing to go I volunteered. However, her immediate reaction was something like "Ehr.. we would actually prefere one of the female or muslim colleagues to go if possible".... Well... I gave it a thought and came to the conclusion I would either need a sex change or a circumcision. Since I was reluctant to tell I would most probably rather take the sex change, I just happily declined...

25 degres en hiver (25 Degrees in Winter)
Mood:  suave
Topic: Everyday life (weirdness)
I came home late and I knew I was gonna arrive late. On top of that it was raining, I was tired and hungry and not a single cab around. Still, although totally not in the mood anymore, I went, and that was good... It was sitting on the theatre, that made me miss my good old Lumiere and my all-time movie buddy E.
Belgium movies... they have something... more than Dutch movies, that's for sure. I still remember very well having seen this one about a little boy who wants to be a girl, "Ma vie en rouge". Brilliant, just plain brilliant !!! This little pearl showed us Brussels the way it is; one of the first scenes shows us Brussels indeed the way it can be seen on a cold depressing winterday with a meagre beam of sunshine. Having been there more than once I can recognise it; the true tristesse of Brussels, caught very well. But despite all the disasters that the main character encounters in this whole single day, he and the people around him gradually colour the atmosphere, building up the good-feeling gradually throughout the movie. Yes my movie-buddie, this is another Belgium pearl and you better go and watch it, hope you enjoy...

World wonders....
Mood:  incredulous
Topic: Everyday life (weirdness)
Boeddha reincarneert in 15-jarige jongen

De 15-jarige Ram Bahadur Banjan uit Nepal zit nu al een half jaar lang onder een boom in de jungle verzonken in een diepe meditatie. Hij zou dat doen zonder te eten en te drinken. Landgenoten zien in hem de reincarnatie van Boeddha.

Christusbeeld huilt bloed

Het is een vaker voorkomend fenomeen; religieuze beelden die tranen van bloed zouden huilen. Ook het Zuidamerikaanse land Colombia heeft z’n variant, in een kerk waar in 2002 een maatschappijkritische pastoor is vermoord.

[gepubliceerd: 22-11-2005 12:10:22]

Finally revenge....
Mood:  hug me
Topic: House & Garden Philosophy
I haven’t told yet the story of my housemate’s new car and I feel it’s not fair I withheld it from you all. Last year he bought this brand new Proton car, a local all-Malaysian brand. He was happy as a kid, for as we know, many men see their car as their second girlfriend. That meant we had to go cruising, to go for makan in one of the food stalls in Bangsar. Of course, a car like that, you cannot park outside, so we used the parking basement. Having had our dinner, our ways parted, for I was supposed to meet up with S. Not even halfway the place where I was supposed to meet S. he already called me…

- Ron, the car won’t start, I’ve been trying everything, but nothing works, can you come over here ?
- Well, I’m not a car technician, what do you want me to do ?
- I don’t know, maybe we can push the car or something like that…
- In the car parc ???!! Ah well, never mind, I’ll come over.

Turns out that there’s something wrong with the wiring, and even our skilled fingers can’t do anything to solve it. “Ok”, I sigh, “You go and sit in the car, I’ll try to give it a push”. After muttering a bit about him pushing and me steering I manage to convince him, and while I start pushing the car through the parking basement, C. slowly releases the clutch. The motor starts running in a regular fashion, humming as if nothing special had happened at all. C. is all happy again and I tell him to go home fast before the darn thing gives up on him. While I see his tail lights fade, I have to laugh to myself… Now there is revenge for 300 years of colonisation; the poor Dutch guy pushing the car of the rich Indonesian chap. Finally there is the justice they were looking for in “Oeroeg”, the movie I saw so many years ago.

Mood:  spacey
Hey Ron!!!!

Hoe is het met jou.... dat kan ik natuulijk lezen op je weblog maar dat komt er dus nooit van. Tegenwoordig loopt iedereen maar te webloggen, briljante verhalen maar ik kom niet eens toe aan de zaterdagkrant....
Hier in Amsterdamned alles wel ok, van grote euforie tot totale zinloze dagen, maar de gemiddelde balans is de moeite waard; beetje studeren, beetje werken, beetje feesten, en blijven dromen van het grote onbekende aan de andere kant van de wereld maar nog steeds een te groot gat in mijn hand om het te kunnen financieren.... what else is new ?
Hoe bevalt je opleiding, je huis, je leven, nou ja alles ? Ik hoop dat je je draai een beetje hebt gevonden:

xxx
Maydie

Hey Maydie !!!

Blij weer eens een keer wat van je te horen. Had je vorige maand nog een sms gestuurd, maar misschien is je nummer weer veranderd.... Dus de moderne hoog-informatieve-technologische samenleving heeft jou tenslotte ook al achterhaald ?? Maak je geen zorgen, onze generatie mag al blij zijn de weg te kunnen vinden op internet. Vandaag de dag moet alles snel-sneller-snelst... en straks wordt het een gave en een kunst om de tijd te kunnen genieten. Daar zijn wij dan weer in het voordeel. Terwijl hier het jachtige leven voorbij glijdt, moet ik stiekem toch keihard werken om alles in de hand te kunnen houden. Ook voor mij is de zaterdagkrant niet weggelegd, maar hier is dat geen groot gemis, gezien de journalistieke kwaliteiten en de lokale persvrijheid. Maar de hectiek weerhoudt me er niet van om me regelmatig te begeven in het bruisende KL night life... jawel, bruisen doet het hier zeker... forget Amsterdamned !!!! Dit is de grote stad hahaha
Maak je voorlopig geen zorgen over de weblogs... de mensen die je dagelijks tegenkomt hoef je niet te lezen hehehe.... en die van mij... tja, die crasht momenteel 1 op 3, maar als je de kans krijgt dan zie je misschien wat foto's en binnenkort nog meer. En wie weet kom ik in de 1e helft 2006 richting Nederland om het zelf allemaal te vertellen...

Cheers, Ron

About psycho cabs & smiling monks
Mood:  incredulous
I stop the cab and after a failed attempt to open the door, the cabby opens it from the inside. I get in and intend to start a casual conversation in Malay. “So, what happened to the door ?”, I ask him. “Why you……..” is his first response and then he keeps silent in all languages…. I still try, exclaiming a surprised and friendly “what ?”, but he doesn’t even blink an eye and seems to have withdrawn himself in a world of his own, far away from this one. The car starts to move with a trembling and rattling than can impossibly be ignored. Gear 1 becomes gear 2, switch to 3 end eventually gear 4. he even tries gear 5 for a moment, but after a few metres gives up and goes back to 4. Regardless of all this, the speed doesn’t change. Having arrived, the brakes prove to be as good as the engine, but even an accident probably wouldn’t have the least effect at his speed.
Having arrived at my destination, within 5 minutes a Buddhist monk stands by my side, puts a picture of some Chinese goddess in my hand and requests for a small donation for the temple. Never mind, I think, anything for the buddah, and I give him 10 bucks. Apparently the amount is negotiable, for he tempts me into another 10-dollar bill. I’m really sorry, I’m still a student, I try to explain. Never mind, broadly smiling he continues his quest. A typical day so far ?? I dunno….