Calvin & Hobbes say:
Topic: House & Garden Philosophy
I’m not in denial, I’m just very selective about the reality I accept.

Mango chutney & Dal curry
Mood:  hungry
Topic: Everyday life (weirdness)
Surely it must be something about the way I eat my “Masala Thosai” that causes these Indian chaps quite some distress. The reason I moved to “The new Sri Paandi’s” place was because I got fed up of the other place, where every dinner meant I had to entertain some of the staff in rewarding their innocent, though unlimited curiosity, or listening politely to stories of medical problems of theirs or their family members or their auntie’s neighbour for that matter. I chose The new Sri Paandi’s because the food is 2 dollars less (here they insist on calling the Ringgit “ Malaysian dollar”, I guess to make them not feel bad about the higher rated Singapore dollar). Also they serve it here with a nice mango chutney. So nice that I refrain from getting a curry additionally. However, they frantically keep on trying to make me eat the thing with curry rather than the chutney. Their newest trick now is, rather than customary serving it with a small bucket of sauces and stuff, to give me rather limited portions of it all and instead supplying me with a generous portion of curry. This latter one is then placed a bit closer to my plate, to make it more convincing. Then 1 or 2 of them will keep watching me, to see if I will use the curry with my food.
They will be discussing it; “Mmhhh, I don’t think he likes the Dal curry”, one chap will say…. The other will respond; “yeah, I think you’re right; at least last time, with the fish curry he took a couple of spoons”. You’re damn right fellows, I think, cause I feel the Dal curry is too blend, even though they serve a better than average one. Hey, being an everything-eating pseudo-Malaysian gives me the right to opiniate food right ?

At least they won’t interview me, for both their English and Malay is too poor. Talking about interviewing; I think I can say I’ve reached a steady baseline, in which the patients are trying to compensate the information they are giving me by extracting information from me in return. Nowadays when patients ask where I come from, I simply tell them I’m from Java. That withholds most of them from asking further, busy as they are processing that strange, contrasting piece of information.
Still, this other day when I tried to some information from this Chinese aunty about her gynae problem – by means of someone translating my Malay into Chinese – the cards turn and within 3 minutes every single question of mine elicits 3 contra-questions. I can only but surrender after 10 minutes, leaving the room with them knowing much more about me than I know about her health problem. Ah well, maybe part of my task in life is entertainment ???

Sticky babies
Topic: (scary) hospital stories
Currently I'm in antenatal clinic...
“Doctor, I just swallowed my chewing gum”, the pregnant lady tells me when she enters the room. I smile at her and tell her; “I’m really sorry, but unfortunately I cannot replace your chewing gum. But I can assure you that the chances the gum will end up with your unborn baby are quite small… Of course, if by the time you’re about to deliver and the baby won’t come out readily, then… well then we would have to ask ourselves the question whether the baby didn’t get stuck to the piece of gum you just swallowed and for that reason alone doesn’t want to come out.”

Blues or Jazz ??
Mood:  silly
Topic: Everyday life (weirdness)
Well.. just when I thought the new year 2006 started of a bit tame…. HAPPY NEW YEAR !! By the way everybody…. Anyway, supposed to meet up someone for lunch today, just got to know the person, is rounding up her jazz conservatorium training.. she shows up fashionably late…. Actually, come to think of it… this year actually started out with me showing up consistently in time and the other party being late…. I wonder if it’s gonna be like that for the rest of the year, time will tell I guess…
So we order some mee and have a nice chat… then the afternoon takes a wicked turn and while she turns all green, before we actually realise what’s happening all the mee comes out again… Happy New Year….
Why is is that I always seem to be the epicentre of weird things happening ?? Like… let’s say… 10 on Richter’s scale…

The disappointing Hermaphrodite.
Mood:  mischievious
Topic: (scary) hospital stories
The A&E MO called me and asked me to come and take a look at a case. She starts talking about a 49-year old male, who is having menorrhagia – Excuse me, did I hear you say male ? – I interrupt her…

- Yeah, yeah, but he’s got both; he’s a ehhrr bisexual….
- You mean he has ambiguous genitals I correct her.
- Yeah exactly, cause I could also see labia and some kind of vagina and there was some yellowish discharge, and the pad he was wearing was fairly soaked, with a slightly foul smell. But I couldn’t see any active bleed…

– Go on, go on, I encourage her, for I’m suddenly damn interested…. She tells me the guy actually claims to have had a monthly bleed for the past 2 years, whereas in the past he never had any of such complaints. He turns out to be married and has 3 kids. While walking down to the A&E, I crack my mind over how after all these years he would suddenly have these periods, and never before sought for medical advice.
When I come down to the A&E, I find a Chinese male, with normal beard growth, dressed in a female model t-shirt with a V-collar and wearing a padded bra, cup size A. A pair of modest, not too conspicuous ladies shoes is on the floor besides the bed. He confirmed the information I already had and hardly added anything, since his command of Malay was as lousy as my Chinese.
I proceed to examine him and on opening the trousers I don’t see anything else than normal developed male genitals. The female Malay Medical Officer who referred the patient suddenly pops in and asks very excited; So how Dr. Ron, what are your findings ??Well, I say, while I lift up the scrotum to expose the anal region to her… I’m a bit disappointed…. Could you please point out to me where it is that you saw the labia and vagina, cause I can only see the “discharge”, referring to some minor remnants of yellowish stools. Ooohh… so that is the anus…. She exclaims spontaneously in the most naive fashion… I’m really sorry Dr. Ron, I really thought I saw labia just earlier, I hope you’re not angry with me… I give her my brightest smile, and reassure her that I’m anything but angry, since she just gave me something to laugh over for the rest of the whole weekend… and I advise her that I’m not the person she wants; it would be better to involve the PSY in this particular case…

blleeehhh and beer
Mood:  hug me
Topic: Everyday life (weirdness)
Helping prof in operating theatre last night… Actually nothing extraordinary, since it’s what I mostly do on the Tuesday and Thursday nights, just to survive and get some experience on top of that. Come Ron, let’s go for a drink, prof said, after we finished. It had been a long time, and though my sense of duty told me to go home, eat, study and sleep, my frustration over the latest department nonsense prevailed and I decided to join. We had a couple of drinks and went home timely. That’s how the days pass by…. Tomorrow again 24 hours to go…. Bllleeehhhhhh…

How to be yourself...
Mood:  not sure
Topic: House & Garden Philosophy
Prof S. asked the whole lot who wanted to volunteer to go to Pakistan to do some - mainly delivery - work in the disaster areas overthere. Since I was quite willing to go I volunteered. However, her immediate reaction was something like "Ehr.. we would actually prefere one of the female or muslim colleagues to go if possible".... Well... I gave it a thought and came to the conclusion I would either need a sex change or a circumcision. Since I was reluctant to tell I would most probably rather take the sex change, I just happily declined...

25 degres en hiver (25 Degrees in Winter)
Mood:  suave
Topic: Everyday life (weirdness)
I came home late and I knew I was gonna arrive late. On top of that it was raining, I was tired and hungry and not a single cab around. Still, although totally not in the mood anymore, I went, and that was good... It was sitting on the theatre, that made me miss my good old Lumiere and my all-time movie buddy E.
Belgium movies... they have something... more than Dutch movies, that's for sure. I still remember very well having seen this one about a little boy who wants to be a girl, "Ma vie en rouge". Brilliant, just plain brilliant !!! This little pearl showed us Brussels the way it is; one of the first scenes shows us Brussels indeed the way it can be seen on a cold depressing winterday with a meagre beam of sunshine. Having been there more than once I can recognise it; the true tristesse of Brussels, caught very well. But despite all the disasters that the main character encounters in this whole single day, he and the people around him gradually colour the atmosphere, building up the good-feeling gradually throughout the movie. Yes my movie-buddie, this is another Belgium pearl and you better go and watch it, hope you enjoy...

World wonders....
Mood:  incredulous
Topic: Everyday life (weirdness)
Boeddha reincarneert in 15-jarige jongen

De 15-jarige Ram Bahadur Banjan uit Nepal zit nu al een half jaar lang onder een boom in de jungle verzonken in een diepe meditatie. Hij zou dat doen zonder te eten en te drinken. Landgenoten zien in hem de reincarnatie van Boeddha.

Christusbeeld huilt bloed

Het is een vaker voorkomend fenomeen; religieuze beelden die tranen van bloed zouden huilen. Ook het Zuidamerikaanse land Colombia heeft z’n variant, in een kerk waar in 2002 een maatschappijkritische pastoor is vermoord.

[gepubliceerd: 22-11-2005 12:10:22]

Finally revenge....
Mood:  hug me
Topic: House & Garden Philosophy
I haven’t told yet the story of my housemate’s new car and I feel it’s not fair I withheld it from you all. Last year he bought this brand new Proton car, a local all-Malaysian brand. He was happy as a kid, for as we know, many men see their car as their second girlfriend. That meant we had to go cruising, to go for makan in one of the food stalls in Bangsar. Of course, a car like that, you cannot park outside, so we used the parking basement. Having had our dinner, our ways parted, for I was supposed to meet up with S. Not even halfway the place where I was supposed to meet S. he already called me…

- Ron, the car won’t start, I’ve been trying everything, but nothing works, can you come over here ?
- Well, I’m not a car technician, what do you want me to do ?
- I don’t know, maybe we can push the car or something like that…
- In the car parc ???!! Ah well, never mind, I’ll come over.

Turns out that there’s something wrong with the wiring, and even our skilled fingers can’t do anything to solve it. “Ok”, I sigh, “You go and sit in the car, I’ll try to give it a push”. After muttering a bit about him pushing and me steering I manage to convince him, and while I start pushing the car through the parking basement, C. slowly releases the clutch. The motor starts running in a regular fashion, humming as if nothing special had happened at all. C. is all happy again and I tell him to go home fast before the darn thing gives up on him. While I see his tail lights fade, I have to laugh to myself… Now there is revenge for 300 years of colonisation; the poor Dutch guy pushing the car of the rich Indonesian chap. Finally there is the justice they were looking for in “Oeroeg”, the movie I saw so many years ago.