Am I pregnant ???
Mood:  hug me
Topic: House & Garden Philosophy
Ayo? I don?t know what?s wrong with me? when I woke up this morning I didn?t fully realise what I?d been dreaming about this last hour of the night. There must be something really wrong with me, for I was dreaming I was about 8 months pregnant. Am I really too occupied with my work ?? I can recall that I had all these worries about the whole pregnancy and ? damned ? who got me pregnant in the first place, when only in the end I started to realise; ?Hey, I?m a guy, I cannot be pregnant even if I wanted to??. Oh, and did I mention I was wearing the most hideously looking shoes ?? My Iraqi friend told me it must be because I feel I?m carrying a burden? Well? of course, I could think of a couple of things to mention (which of course I won?t do here and now). Anyway, this all called for a scientific approach, so I went to roam the world wide webb? did you ever realise how many hits you get by just typing ?dream dictionary? in Google ??

"Pregnant"

To dream that you are pregnant, symbolizes an aspect of yourself or some aspect of your personal life that is growing and developing. You may not be ready to talk about it or act on it. This may also represent the birth of a new idea, direction, project or goal. If you are pregnant and having this dream, then it represents your anxieties about the pregnancy. In the first trimester, your dreams usually consists of tiny creatures, fuzzy animals, flowers, fruit and water. In the second trimester, your dreams will reflect your anxiety about being a good mother and concerns about possible complications with the birth. Dreams of giving birth to a non-human baby are also common during this period of the pregnancy. Finally, in the third trimester, you will tend to dream about your own mother.

Pregnancy has two points of entry into our DREAM lives. The first is dreaming of oneself as being pregnant. The second is that you actually become pregnant in waking life and that trigger event creates this particular dream content. In dreams, anyone can get pregnant. It is not an experience that is limited by gender or age. Generally, it is a herald of creativity, virility, or wealth. However, there are numerous underlying themes that need additional interpretation.

If you are a younger woman who dreams of getting pregnant, but has no waking intention of doing so, it is likely that you are working through an archetypal transition into a new self-awareness. One of Jung's archetypes is the archetype of parenting or preserving the species. To see oneself engaged in such activity is to grow from being a child to identifying more prominently with adults.

If you are sexually active, but without the intention for pregnancy, your dreams of pregnancy may occur in harmony with your monthly cycle. In these dreams, there may be a certain amount of "what-if" anxiety that needs resolution.

A man who dreams of being pregnant himself is often in a situation where his virility or creative participation in the world is in question. This occurs most among men who see themselves as less creative than they would like to be. The dream serves as a form of compensation to illuminate the more creative facets of their personality. Men who are pregnant do not give birth exclusively to children, but a wide range of objects that somehow support their mission in the world.

Becoming pregnant in waking life can conjure a huge variety of dream events. These range from the violent to the hilarious and almost everything in between. Since pregnancy conjures a wide variety of feelings in waking life, from euphoria to tremendous anxiety, this is not too surprising. Other dreams that are prevalent during pregnancy include dreams of marital infidelity, death of the partner, chronic health problems, birth defects in the child, losing the pregnancy through accident or miscarriage, having twins or multiples, and dreams of heightened fertility where additional conceptions and gestations occur frequently or despite prevention. Infidelity and death of the partner dreams often are played out in response to feelings of insecurity do to appearance changes or changes in sexual relationships during pregnancy. Dreams of chronic health problems and birth defects represent negative wish-fulfilment anxiety on the part of the woman. Dreams of multiple-order birth and repeated gestation are the most complex dreams. Often times, pregnancy is overwhelming at some level for the woman. These feelings most often stem from fear to adequately mother. The onslaught of pregnancies may be a visual representation of this anxiety.

Well? that doesn?t help, does it ??

getting around
Mood:  a-ok
Topic: Everyday life (weirdness)
Regardless of what anyone might say, hitch-hiking is not dead in The Netherlands. In view of my financial constraints, I used my thumb most of the time to get around and see all my friends and family after such a long time. These short trips all pleasantly added up on the delight of seeing my family again. Yeah, hitch-hiking is definitely the way to go if you have the time and weather on your side… On top of that you get to meet interesting people...

Frozen toe nails
Mood:  cool
Topic: Everyday life (weirdness)
BBBBBRRrrrrhhhh.... soooo cold, I didn't remember it to be that cold... But nevermind, it's good to be around for the time being... Anyone can reach me on the folllowing HP-number in the meantime: +316 14 28 35 78

Back in town; special discount ! (Balik kampung)
Mood:  celebratory
Topic: Everyday life (weirdness)
I almost forgot to announce: I'm gonna be back in town for 2 weeks... I'll be arriving 06:30 @ Schiphol on saturday April 1st. No big banners necessary or welcoming committe, but breakfast with Dutch apple pie (the daily fresh made one that Jarinde once introduced me to) would be lovely... Oh, but any volunteer can bring me a warm coat hehehehe, so that I won't freeze my toe nails off...

Just realised that there is a whole lot of blog material missing since I moved to this new site... Have been trying to copy & paste everything this mornin, but still much left... But @ least now one can see how the silly blog started in the first place. Still have the 2nd half of 2005 to paste, so keep hanging on. Can't wait ?? just see @ the old page; https://www.angelfire.com/indie/ronron/lapor/

Screaming @ walls...
Mood:  hug me
Topic: Night life & other action
Bangsar @ midnight. Me and my friend having a drink and a chat, she looking at the boys, me looking at the girls, and we both know we’re not gonna do anything anyway. On the way back she suddenly takes a funny road. Not a coincidence we end up at her former lovers’ place… Just checking to see whether he’s home or not… ah so cunning… Men, better be warned; this is what women do hahaha…. Yeah, well, we still don’t know for sure whether he’s out or not, but to comfort her broken heart I start singing my false and loud version of “Last Christmas” by WHAM! Yeah, see, laughing again. I instruct her to go home, scream and moan at the wall, to make her neighbours think she still has a sex life. Remember, I tell her, your bed sheets won’t get soiled and the wall will never complain about being dissatisfied…

Marathon in OT
Mood:  lazy
Topic: (scary) hospital stories
I actually planned to write something down about my Sabah trip, but every time when I come home I’m so darn tired… I just told my senior I’m not putting up anymore with always taking up 1 more call per month than all the others; trying to get some income while @ the same time you’re covering for colleagues who are to lazy to do their share of night shifts, how does that work ?? Anyway, today we operated on a 6-year old with an ovarian tumour…. Everything sooo small….. only logical that all the instruments used are of baby-size as well. Only finished @ 23:15, so since studying wouldn’t happen anyway I happily joined Prof for a beer… we discussed crooked Prof E.’s professional attitude, had to evade the bar-girl hungry for kisses and having discussed one of the stalking staff nurses we concluded that sometimes “just being nice” here means something totally different than in The Netherlands, even after having evidently pointed out that you’re only being nice….

About running out of virgins
Mood:  mischievious
Topic: House & Garden Philosophy
Ok, it's time to get involved in the discussion now. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not running a political blog here, although I'm not afraid to take a stand and ventilate my opinion, even though that is nowadays something to be careful about... But what now about these infamous cartoons ? There seem to be not so many good ways to react, but a friend of mine send me the only reasonable and sensible form of reaction; the scientific analysis of the cartoons. Being supposed to be an academic trained person I happily visited the following link to a fellow blogger; Reclusive Leftist, politics, feminism & random pedantry from the reclusive Dr. Violet Socks to find a randomised controlled comparison of cartoons of the big J. versus the big M.

The ultimate conclusion I’ll take over for now;
1.Denmark needs funnier cartoonists (although the virgin one is hilarious)
2.The best — i.e., the most deliciously blasphemous — cartoons about Jesus on the internets either have giant copyright marks on them or come with flaming warnings that your head will explode if you reproduce them without buying them.

We tried to discuss the pics with some well educated friends, but unfortunately even then emotions tend to get in the way of reason. Now I know why the world gets into war; lack of reason.

Mood:  hug me
Topic: Everyday life (weirdness)
S. calls me in the evening and complains to me; "I don't have a life".... "MMhhh, you must be a doctor then", is my first reaction. This calls for a beer and even though I just had a whole working day in the operating theatre after a hectic night shift we agree to meet up in some bar. In the end of the evening we end up in a whole troop of - how predictable - doctors. What is it that makes such people clot together like a bunch of over-enthusiastic blood platelets ??
Anyway, talking about doctor?s stress, it is even something known to professors as well. The other day when I was helping out my prof in OT, the anaesthesiology prof totally freaked out during a difficult intubation procedure. He got so agitated over the radio blasting some Italian tenors aria's in the OT, that he walked to the radio and jerked the cable out of the wall, almost detaching the electrical outlet in the process. My prof later very adequately described it as one of the Tom & Jerry scenes, where Tom gets all worked up....

Calvin & Hobbes say:
Topic: House & Garden Philosophy
I’m not in denial, I’m just very selective about the reality I accept.