 |
Here is something from Michi.^^ "A pretty girl can kiss a guy. A bee can kiss a butterfly. The morning sun can kiss the grass, and you, my friend, can kiss my ass." Ain't it special?
Famous Last Words
Don't turn it on yet, it's not quite ready.
Quick, they'll never find us if we hide here.
Don't worry, it's not used any more.
The next time you ask when we're going to arrive, I'm going to turn round and give you such a belt!
Step back a bit, I can't get you in the picture.
So they finally fixed this elevator yesterday?
Listen, i'm taking a course in chemistry, I know what I'm doing.
EARTH FIRST! We'll stripmine the other planets later.
"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
He who laughs last thinks slowest!
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
The severity of the itch is proportional to inability to the reach it.
Two wrongs are only the beginning.
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A fool and his money are soon partying.
Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.
It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have. (Thanks to Lisa.)
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac. (ewwwwww)
I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. (^^WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!)
Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
All generalizations are false, including this one.
"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.
I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
It's sad that a family can be torn apart by something as simple as a pack of wild dogs.
Perhaps, if I am very lucky, the feeble efforts of my lifetime will someday be noticed, and maybe, in some small way, they will be acknowledged as the greatest works of genius ever created by Man.
Probably to a shark about the funniest thing there is is a wounded seal, trying to swim to shore, because where does he think he's going?
I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
Why not modern Latin: VENI, VEDI, VISA - I came, I saw, I shopped.
STRESSED spelled backwards is DESSERTS. (YUM)
I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes froze the end of my nose. (*cough*Noah*cough*)
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
If cats and dogs didn't have fur would we still pet them?
If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?
If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?
If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do?
If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?
If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
This land is your land. This land is my land. So stay on your land.
Do people in Australia call the rest of the world "up over"?
Does that screwdriver belong to Philip?
Does killing time damage eternity?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead?"
Why is the word big so little and the word little so big?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra? (Get it????)
How do I set my laser printer on stun?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
What happens when none of your bees wax?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their
lights off?
Why is the word abbreviation so long?
Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
What's another word for thesaurus?
What would we have called the color orange if it wasn't a fruit?
After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
If a mute swears, does his mother make him wash his hands
with soap?
If someone has a mid-life crises while playing hide & seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself? (Oooooooo)
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
You know how most packages say "Open here".What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?
Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?
If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will something keep going wrong?
Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same
thing?
How can someone "draw a blank"?
Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"?
Advice!! (Read twice if needed)
Instead of having 'answers' on a math test, they should just call them 'impressions' and it you got a different 'impression' so what, can't we all be brothers?
If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something. (Excellent!)
When you're riding in a time machine way far into the future, don't stick your elbow out the window, or it'll turn into a fossil.
If you ever go temporarily insane, don't shoot somebody, like a lot of people do. Instead, try to get some weeding done, because you'd really be surprised.
Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment?" I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you'd probably be able to get a lot of free games.
Heh heh, Insults:P
Why don't you go to the library and brush up on your ignorance?
You are not as bad as people say -- you're worse!
Do you have to leave so soon? I was about to poison the tea.
I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
Whom am I calling "stupid"? I don't know. What's your name?
Your mouth is getting too big for your muzzle.
You are as strong as an ox and almost as intelligent.
You are living proof of reincarnation. No one could possibly get to be so stupid in just one lifetime.
You grow on people -- like a wart!
You're nobody's fool. Let's see if we can get someone to adopt you.
They say no woman ever made a fool out of you. So
who did?
You're very smart. You have brains you never used.
You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.
If you don't want to give people a bad name, you can still have your children illegitimately.
They say that two heads are better than one. In your case, one would have been better than none.
You must have a low opinion of people if you think they're your equals.
I wish you were all here. I don't like to think there is more!
If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!
Layout Design © by Evelyn at Enchanted Dreams
+ Quizilla!!