Well, gosh.
I guess I'll start at the beginning.
I first heard about Hanson in the spring of 2000. I saw their video for "This Time Around" on MuchMusic by fluke, and immediately logged on to the Internet to find out about this elusive rock band, Hanson. Not surprisingly, the first hits I got were ones for pages of Hanfic. I had never heard of fan fiction before... heck, I'd never heard of the band (for the first few months, I thought there were four members... but that's another story :o) ) Eventually, after I got to know the brothers through reading interviews and buying albums, I found a strange attraction to the Hanfic. I guiltily began reading stories, searching with more and more fervour for the really well-written ones. I was a full-fledged lurker, never signing guestbooks, never telling any of my friends about my odd online preoccupation.In December of 2001, the infamous duo Amanda (Llama) and Laura decided to put together the PulpHanson contest. Write 300 words a day for one month, have your story URL advertised on their site. As simple as that. Now, being the ultra-competitive person that I am, I could not ignore this challenge. I had been feeling the urge to write lately, and hoped that this would kick me back into prose-perfect shape, as well as squash my fears about making a fanfic webpage and only seeing the counter rise by one every time I visited my own site.
I didn't end up finishing to contest, I took more than my allotted two days off from writing. However, I had gotten a taste of the magical world of feedback - people liked my story! It was incentive to continue...
I have always been driven in school to do homework, join clubs, try out for sports teams I know I'd never make. I have been working so hard for so many years to ensure that I would have all my doors open when I reached this point in my life. Now, with one year left of high school, I have so many options... I have had to take a step back from the whirlwind that is my life, and try to figure out what I really want from myself. After several months of intense soul-searching, I still have not found my true passion in life, other than my love for work and subsequent success. Hanson have introduced me to the wonderful world of rock and roll, which is synonymous with pleasure. Making this site has brought me so much pleasure, from meeting amazing, generous people (I'm convinced Hanson fans are the most kind, giving, intelligent people out there) and I have had lots of feedback on my writing. I have had the opportunity to read some amazing works of art, and connect with people around the world in a way I could never have imagined. However, I had convinced myself that these pleasures would satisfy me, when I actually need to refocus and make my own breaks. I can't be an obsessive Hanson fan anymore... I mean, of course I'll always be head over heels in love with the music, but the guys themselves... I need to say goodbye to the whole experience that is Hanson, and to their amazing fans. I need for my entire life to be in the present; I need to have my entire passion be focussed on myself, and my education, and making money to pay for college. It's not even that it takes up so much time to be an active online Hanson community member, or to write the fanfic, I still had time for homework and my job when I was doing it. But, I only have so much attention in me, and I need to bring it back to myself. So, goodbye imaginary world. It's time for me to grow.
Oh no, that was a piece of sentimental crap. I am sorry. It's just that, I was writing exams in the second part of June when all the hubub about Taylor's wedding was going on... it wasn't that I was in love with him and particularly upset about it... in fact, I found the randomness of it rather amusing... but I couldn't help spending too much time online, writing to my Hanson friends, and searching for new tidbits and photos. I aced all my exams, but I realized that things had gone too far... it was a topic that was constantly on my mind those first few days, and I disgusted myself. I've always felt a little guilty writing about real people, and although I'm proud of this story... I just need to stop for now so I can find myself again. Okay, I'm stopping, I know, it's starting to get mushy again. :o)
THANK YOUS and links
