Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from rare and deadly
diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity, fear of being
kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilty for not forwarding
fifty billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually
believe that if you send them on, then that poor fucking six-year-old girl
in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money
to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her off to the traveling
freak show. Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and
everyone you send his email to $1000? How stupid are you?
Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll
get laid by every Playboy Bunny in the magazine! What a bunch of
fucking bullshit.So basically, this message is a big "FUCK YOU!"
to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than
to send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter
leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep
for not continuing the chain which was started by Jesus in 5 A.D. and was
brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes
it to the year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for
longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity. fuck them. If you're going
to forward something, at least send me something mildly ****ing amusing.
I've seen all the 'send this to fifty of your closest friends, and this
poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel
from some omniscient being forwards about ninety times.
I don't fucking care. Show a little intelligence and think
about what you're actually contributing to by sending out forwards.

Chances are it's your own unpopularity.

THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:

Chain Letter Type 1: (scroll down) Make a wish!!!





Keep Scrolling




No, really, go on and make one!!!



Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!!



Wish something else!!!

Not that, you pervert!!


STOP!!!! Wasn't that fun?

Hope you made a great wish Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do.
First of all, if you don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5
seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat and thrown off a high building
into a pile of manure. It's true! Because,
THIS letter isn't like those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!! Really!!! Here's how it goes:

*Send this to 1 person:

One person will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.


*Send this to 2-5 people:

2-5 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.


*Send this to 5-10 people:

5-10 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a plot on your life.


*Send this to 10-20 people:

10-20 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter and will napalm your house.


Thanks!!!!

Good Luck!!!



---------------------------------------------



Chain Letter Type 2:


Hello, and thank you for reading this letter.
You see, there is a starving little boy in
Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no parents,
and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved,
because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to
the Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund.
Oh, and remember, we have absolutely no way of counting the e-mails sent
and this is all a complete load of bull****. So go on,
reach out.


Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds.

Oh, and a reminder - if you don't send this YOU HAVE NO HEART
if u don't send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly.


Thanks again!!



---------------------------------------------



Chain Letter Type 3:


Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is
absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not as
many sad pricks with nothing better to do. So this is how it works...

pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something
horrible will happen to you like:


*Bizarre Horror Story #1

Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had
recently received this letter and ignored it. She then
tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed
down a drainpipe in a flood of poopie, and went flying out over a
waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died.
This Could Happen To You!!!


*Bizarre Horror Story #2

Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and
ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car
and so was his boyfriend (hey, some people swing that way).
They both died and went to hell and were cursed to
eat adorable kittens every day for eternity.
This Could Happen To You Too!!!
Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and Bip.
Just send this letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will be okay.



----------------------------------------------



Chain Letter Type 4

As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote.

Send it to all your friends. FRIENDS:
A friend is someone who is always at your side. A friend is someone
who likes you even though you stink of ****, and
your breath smells like you've been eating catfood. A friend is someone
who likes you even though you're as ugly as a hat full of assholes. A
friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself. A
friend is someone who stays with you all night while you about your
sad, sad life. A friend is someone who pretends they like you
when they really think you should be raped by mad gorrillas,
then thrown to vicious dogs. A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet,
vacuums and then gets the check and leaves and doesn't speak much English...
no, sorry that's the cleaning lady. A friend is not someone who sends you chain
letters because he wants his wish of being rich to come true.

Now pass this on!

If you don't, you'll never have sex ever again!



--------------------------------------------



The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening
to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.
If it's funny, send it on. Don't piss people off by making them feel
guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead
elephant for 27 years, whose only savior is the 5 cents per letter he'll
receive if you forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up like Miranda.

Right?


Now forward this to everyone that you know otherwise you'll find all
your undies missing tomorrow morning.