The door clicks shut as Duke Dermail exits, leaving me alone with my thoughts. His proposition is utterly ridiculous. The Romafeller Foundation has made repeated attacks on the Sanc Kingdom, and on peace in general. Do they honestly think that I will side with them, even superficially?

Even to save lives?

So many lives could - no, would, I must be honest with myself, even if I don't like the truth -if I bowed to their wishes. To do so would be a blatant denial of all the beliefs which I hold so dear. But then, how will I be doing anything more morally sound by allowing people to die? Many people have already lost their lives supporting the ideals of my family - people are willing to fight for their peace. It is an irony which makes no sense to me. It probably never will.

I press my hands to the cold glass of the windows and lean close to tilt my face up and gaze into the night sky. From Earth, the stars are tiny glittering diamonds, and the moon is a glowing opal orb, it's luminescence stark against the endless dark. What you can't see from Earth, of course, are the colonies. I wonder just what I would see if I could, though.

A tiny sigh escapes my lips and a tear my eyes. There really is no choice here - it's just that it can be so hard to let go of dreams. Of ideals. It kills me to have to publicly denounce my vision for the future of this world, but a part of me whispers that I have already done so, time and time again. It was no act of love and righteousness to deny my own brother. It was a lie plain and simple. It was no act of pacifism to order the Gundam pilot Heero Yuy to kill that same brother, nor to attempt the assassination of Lady Une.

Those were actions that many others in my place would have taken, I know that. But that doesn't mean that I was right to do so. It was those same types of vengeful, purely emotional reactions which led us to war in the first place.

Overly-emotional, un-thought-out actions are indeed at the root of so many battles. Pain, fear, pride, all play their parts in the violent means people resort to in order to attain their goals.

Will I not be doing the same if I continue to resist Romafeller? Perhaps it is pain, at the crumbling of ideals, which holds me back. Perhaps it is fear, of an organization like this one gaining the trust and support of people and ruling the world. And perhaps it is also pride - my own stubborn inability to admit when my views are faulty.

I have to make the choice which will bring about the greatest amount of good possible in this situation, it is a morally painful action, yet as I said, I know there is really no choice. I tell the servant standing by the door to inform Duke Dermail of my consent to serve as the Chief Representative of the Romafeller Foundation. He nods, and hurries from the room. The door once again clicks shut.

I fear the effect this will have on the many nations just now beginning to stand for total pacifism. Will they be able to understand why I've made this terrible decision? With a heavy heart at the thought, I realize that perhaps I have begun to understand a bit about the abomination that is war.

And that scares me as well…