Orgy Love! MST
By Hikari Roivas
In the not-too-distant future, way down in Deep 13,
Dr. Forester and TV's Frank were hatching an Evil Scheme.
They kidnapped some authors from the Internet,
Just a bunch of irregular 'peeps they didn't like.
Their experiment needed some good test cases,
But those were all taken so they took what they could get!
Get! Us! Do-o-o-o-o-own! (We resent that . . .)
We'll send them random fanfics,
The strangest we can find,
La-la-la!
They'll have to sit and watch them all, and we'll monitor their minds.
La-la-la!
Now keep in mind they can't control where the fanfics begin or end,
La-la-la!
They'll try to keep his sanity with the help of their crazy friends.
Roll Call!
[HIKARI ROIVAS: Wax on, wax off.]
[JESANAE TEKANI: I love Jon Bon Jovi!
[ROBSTER80: See my finger, see my thumb, see my fist, you better run!
[JENNIFER MORTOOOOOOON: I'm retired from writing, leave me alone!!!
If you're wondering how they eat and breathe and other science facts,
La-la-la!
It's a fricking blatant plot hole, just fuck off and relax . . .
. . . for Mystery Science Theater 3000!" (Twang!)
Mystery Science Theater 3000: Orgy Love!
MST by Hikari Roivas
Original Fanfic by Spazoid Barney
[(The Sattelite of Love. Inside, we see ROBSTER80 and JENNIFER in the living room.)]
[ROBSTER80: That's the problem, though. Science has proven that, if Davis truly had a brain, the world would explode into nothingness.]
[JENNIFER: How's that possible?]
[ROBSTER80: Can you imagine how stupid Davis would be if he actually had the ability to think up ways to be stupid?]
[JENNIFER: (shudders) Yeah, I see your point now . . .]
[(Move to the bridge, redecorated in typical Star Trek style. JESANAE is sitting in the captain's chair and HIKARI is sitting at the weapons station.)]
[JESANAE: I don't get it. Why'd you change your penname again?]
[HIKARI: I wanted something different. 'Christochi Ishida' is my main Original Character, so when I did MSTs and stuff, no one knew if I was talking about myself or the character, and I've always liked the names 'Hikari' and 'Roivas', so I just put them together.]
[JESANAE: But you're a guy and 'Hikari''s a girl's name.]
[HIKARI: Hey, it worked for Marilyn Manson.]
[JESANAE: -_-. What an example . . . but it does make sense. Besides, you are pretty sensitive to a lot of things.]
[HIKARI: . . . if you weren't a close friend, I wouldn't know if I should be insulted or complimented.]
[JESANAE: (giggles) Oh come on! You know I'd never do anything like that to you.]
[(Suddenly the view screen comes on, revealing DR. FORESTER and TV's FRANK in Deep Thirteen.)]
[DR. FORESTER: So what's everyone talking about today, hmm? Planning on giving up your futile efforts to resist me and surrender?]
[HIKARI: Actually, I'm planning on inserting you and dear Frank over there in a yaoi lemon with Motomiya Daisuke, Hibiki Ryoga, and Ikari Shinji in an act of pure insanity.]
[JESANAE: And Frank'll be the butch and you'll be the bitch, Dr. Forester.]
[DR. FORESTER: What! How dare you! How dare you!]
[TV's FRANK: Well, actually, Dr. Forester—]
[DR. FORESTER: Not another word, Frank! (Frank looks down sadly) Speaking of insanity, and to punish you for those insulting remarks, I've got just the 'fic for you today. It's a Digimon fanfic.]
[HIKARI: Great, more blackmailing oppurtunities for when we see Taichi next.]
[TV's FRANK: But it's a lemon Digimon fanfic.]
[JESANAE: 0_0! Little kids wanging their pets! Gross!]
[HIKARI: (Beavis) Wang!]
[JESANAE: (smacks Hikari) Don't encourage them!]
[DR. FORESTER: TOO LATE! EVERYONE IN THE THEATER!!!]
[(ROBSTER80 and JENNIFER run in as the sirens start blaring)]
[JENNIFER: What is that?]
[JESANAE: Kari screwed up again!]
[ROBSTER80: Wonderful, thanks Kari.]
[HIKARI: Oh shut up, everyone, it's FANFIC SIGN!]
(All enter theater. The fanfic is downloading. From left to right, the seating is ROBSTER80, JESANAE, HIKARI, and JENNIFER.)]
orgy love!
[JENN: Or "The Sonny Ferelli Story".]
[(all whistle theme from Grand Theft Auto: Vice City)]
SORA:I'm soooooo bored!
[KARI: I'm soooooo frightened!]
[R80: I'm sooooooo annoyed!]
[JESSE: (Eric Cartman) I am sooooooo pissed off right now!]
[JENN: I'm sooooooo disgusted by what's probably gonna happen!]
JO:E: i have a godo idea!
[R80: What's a godo?]
[JESSE: The also-extinct cousin of the dodo, I think.]
SORA: WHAT?
[KARI: (Joe) I said, "i have a godo idea!"]
CODY!: LETS HVAE AN ORGY!!!
[JENN: The horror begins!]
MIMO: YAY!!! (mimi rips poli dot dress off and get naked. she flings h er pantys around like a cobwoy rop)
[JESSE: I'm pretty sure this guy's spellcheck commited suicide rather than attempt to fix that.]
MATT: Wow, you sxey!(jump onm mimii and statrt licking her brrests)
[R80: (Mimi) And you not sexy, shove off creepy blond dude!]
CODY: NO! I want some of mini too!
[JENN: (Cody) Although I probably haven't reached puberty yet.]
YOLEE: Hey codes, take me!
[JESSE: (Yolei) Please, take me away from this!]
CODY: ok (jump on yeloie)
[KARI: (Ozzy Osbourne) SHARON!!!]
[JENN: (Sharon Osbourne) Ozzy, are you calling me?
YOLIE: oooo, TES BABY! THIS IS GRAET!
[R80: Okay, now I'm confused. There is no one in Digimon named "Tess".]
TAI: (rips pants off and revels giant throb cock) OOOOO I'm os horny
[JESSE and JENN: What the hell is a throb cock? (look to R80 and KARI)]
[R80 and KARI: Ladies, we swear we don't know.]
KARI: OOOO! (jumps on Tai's cock and startts syucking it wildl y)
[R80: Oh sweet Jesus! Incest! Darkstar has returned!]
[KARI: (Darkstar) "Then of course, there's some "debts" I need to repay . . . (stares at R80) You know who you are . . ."]
[R80: ARGH! (punches KARI in the head)]
[KARI: Ow . . . medic . . .]
JOE: (grabs Matt's cock while he is stillf licking mimi breast and sucks matt's cock)
[JENN: o_0! That's an image I could have lived without!]
[JESSE: WAH! YAMA-CHAN!!!]
DAVI: (dances nake d, ixzy follow gim and both startt to lick each other)
[R80: (Davey) We got hosed, Tommy. We got hosed.]
[KARI: (Dog) Oh Davey . . .]
IZZY: OOOOOOO, you're cock is so jucihy
[KARI: (A-HA) (singing) Hey, hey hey hey hey . . . the living daylights . . .]
SORA: Hey davis and izzy, lets hve a treesome!
IZZY: NO! Orgy is better!
[JENN: No, taxadermy is better than this crap!]
[JESSE: Yeah, I mean, porn is supposed to be erotic. This crap doesn't even make me horny, and that's not hard to do.]
[JENN, R80, and KARI: 0_0!]
[JESSE: What? Everyone does it!]
[R80: I'm not commenting on that.]
[JENN: Me neither.]
[KARI: I will, and I agree. I must also say that your boyfriend must be very happy.]
[JESSE: Oh but he is! ^_^!!!]
SORA: tko. (grabs tai and kari newerby and drags them into a big pile.)
[R80: (Mortal Kombat) TKO! TOTAL KNOCKOUT!]
[KARI: (Jim Ross) And there it it! Marc Mero hits the TKO! The TKO!]
TAI: (jacks ofo on sora's nipple) Sora, your so xsey!
[JENN: (Sora) And you want to make me commit ritual sempuku.]
SORA1: 9licks Tai dick wildly, wanyting more of his semen)
[JESSE: I'm gonna give Tai nine licks when I see him next . . . (punches the air in front of her)]
DAVIS: i( s buttfukcin Kari now) Oh, kari, i love you
[R80: You see, this is what happens if an American first-grader is able to write pornography.]
[KARI: What do you mean 'American'?]
[R80: Just setting an example, as different parts of the world have different school systems. Basically, if a six year-old wrote porn.]
[KARI: Ah, I see.]
TK: No! kari ove me!
[JENN: You know, grammar IS your friend!]
KARI: i love everyne TK!
[KARI: (Eric Bischoff) And I love each, and every, one of you!]
[R80: (Brother Love) I . . . LOVE . . . YOU!!!]
TK: Ok... (starts licking davis's cock and kari's pussy)
[All: (Finger Eleven) (singing) Give me what I could never ask for! Don't aid me and you could be my chemical now! Give me the drug you know I'm after! Don't aid me and you could be my chemical!]
the edn
[(Outside the theater. Everyone is pale.)]
[JESANAE: I feel so dirty.]
[JENNIFER: And we didn't even do anything.]
[HIKARI: There is but one thing we can do now.]
[R0BSTER80: Do you mean—?]
[HIKARI: Yes, my elder . . . LET'S PLAY VIDEO GAMES!]
[All: (Homer Simpson) WOOHOO!!!]
[(all run off to their own rooms)]
[R0BSTER80: Final Fantasy VIII, here I come!]
[JESANAE: Time for Castle of the Winds II!]
[HIKARI: Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, yeah!]
[JENNIFER: I've got a yearning for some WWE Smackdown: Shut Your Mouth!]
[(Deep Thirteen. DR. FORESTER and TV's FRANK stare.)]
[TV's FRANK: Were they advertising just now?]
[DR. FORESTER: I believe they were.]
[TV's FRANK: Then allow me to do the same, 'cause I wanna go play . . . Pong!]
[DR. FORESTER: . . . PONG!?! (sighs in frustration) Just, please, press the button Frank!]
[(TV's FRANK hits the button. Fade to black as ending credits roll.)]
[DR. FORESTER (V.O.) You wanna play Pong. You are such an idiot, Frank.]
[TV's FRANK: (V.O.) What? What did I do wrong this time?]
Well that's it, whaddya think?
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