My Favorite Quotes!

Check out our stoner talk...the funniest quotes that my friends and I have said:

• *Kim during stick wars* Hey, I have to go to the bathroom...will you hold my stick?
• *Dave* You know, when you dress formally, you seem to act formally. *Kim* Hey, Dave! Baaa like a sheep for me. *Dave* Baaaaaa! *Carrie* Real formal there Dave!
• *Carrie hitting on our cook at Ron of Japan* Hey, do you want my number? Do you wanna have a sleepover! You should come over and we can cook FOOD together!
• *Nate* Ron of Japan is better than sex!
• *Carrie* You little piece of ass, you!
• *Carrie finding used condom in Dave's garbage* Oh, don't be embarassed. If I were you, I'd put my condom on a stick and walk around saying"I had sex! I had sex!"
• *Carrie* Kim, you porn director, you!
• *Kim* I'm trying to pimp out my boyfriend. Either of you want an easy lay?
• *Funny sex ed video* People give birth in MANY places, like homes, hospitals, special huts, and even the ocean...but NOT in a cab on 42nd street!
• *Carrie glaring at a scary person at Fright Fest* You think I'm weird, don't you!
• *Kim, while Carrie's driving* Hey, Carrie, don't hit those people! *Carrie* But I WANT to!
• *Kim driving past some people, mumbling* Damn...I should have hit those people...*Carrie* Jesus, Kim. That's kind of morbid!
• *Eric T.* I like MY nasty!
• *Carrie* I will make you soooo tender!
• *Dave* Hey, James, do you know what I'M thinking about what dog's are thinking right now? *James* No, Dave, I don't. *Kim* I was JUST thinking that!
• *Charles* Why do women give milk ONLY after they have a baby? Why don't they lactate all the time?
• *Charles* Holy snooglydoodlypuffweedles!
• *Dave, inserting penis* Ohhhhh, that's the stuff!
• *Dave coming downstairs with popcorn* Here you go you guys, popcorn for all! *Carrie* Did you just say HOT PORN for all?
• *Dave* Wait! Someone's barking! *Kim* I think it's your dog, Dave.
• *Dave* How many fingers am I holding up? (holds up 7) *Kim* 12
• *Carrie* I wish I had a dead puppy. I mean, think about it, a dead puppy doesn't pee, poo, eat, talk, or sleep! (long pause) *Kim* Carrie, dog's don't talk!
• *Paul* I have 40 dollars! We could BUY some squirrels.
• *Nate* I bet you could kill somebody 8 times before they hit the ground with those things.

• *Dylan* I wanted to steal an old man the other day. (completely random!)
• *Dave talking about money for drugs* Doesn't that burn holes in your pocket? *Sketch* Naw, I usually let it cool off first.
• *Kim* I love the Jews! I love you JEW-lee!
• *Julie* Hey there!
• *Charles* Hey, yo, higher it! (Talking about the radio)