September 12- How do you feel about grown men playing a girl's sport? What is your opinion on adult males reliving their high school glory by playing a sport where you try to hit a ball about the size of your head as far as possible and then trying not to have a coronary while circling the bases? Ladies and gentlemen, I am talking about the phenomenon known as male-adult softball. This dreadful disease is slowly spreading throughout the country. Yours truly has contracted this virus and must now get his weekly vaccination on a poorly-lit softball diamond in Santa Clara. Please don't let your boys grow up to be softball players. Jim Rome had it right. There are only three types of softball player: angry guy, "I could've made the big leagues but...." guy, and dork. I don't think I fit any of these (I hope). Rather, I think I belong to the "I don't have anything better to do and what the hell it beats bingo" category. And besides, if I didn't play, we wouldn't get our huge crowds of 1 that come out and support us each week. Of course, that doesn't count the "those who watch but don't talk to me" fans who go for God-only-knows what reason. So while I have this chance, thanks to Patty, Nicole, Juiceph, Leila, and even 911-dialing-stretching-the-truth-speaking-souffle-souffle singing Charly for coming out and supporting my addiction. And special thanks to the non-cheering fan, for giving me inspiration to imagine the ball being something else light and airy to hit as hard as possible. Anybody have any gum? Peace
September 30- It is time for a serious rant. I think I'm entitled to one every now and then. My dad once told me that you should never go to bed angry at someone because you never know what could happen. While I'm sure he didn't make that up himself, I like to think that he did. Well, I am going to add something to that thought. You should never go a day without telling the most important people in your life that you love them. I am not saying that you should tell all of them every day, but one person a day is enough. Something recently happened to a friend of mine that has made me realize that even more. I won't get into details, but it made me realize how quickly things can change. To that friend in particular, there is nothing that I can say that can make you feel better but I can offer to be there for you. If you need someone to listen or to take your mind off of other things, I'll be there. I love you and I am not going to let today pass without telling you that. You are very special to me and I value our friendship. So I encourage all of you to tell the people you love just how important they are. Because things can change quickly, and you won't always have the opportunity to do so.
January 10, 2003- Man, it has been a long time since I've written something here. Although some listeners say that I talk about this too much on-air, today's topic is going to be love. What is it about this word that scares so many people? Is it fear of commitment? Is it fear of losing one's identity? I don't think it is either of these. I think it is fear. Fear of opening up to someone completely and revealing all of your hidden insecurities. Fear of someone knowing all the goods on you and knowing they can crush you at any moment. Fear of revealing your issues to another person and knowing that they aren't scared off by them. This is why I think the word love scares so many people. It is hard to be completely honest with someone, to be truthful and faithful to them. And it is equally hard to be a listener, to not be scared off by what your significant other tells you about him/herself. It is hard for us to let down our guard to another person. We spend so many years building up these walls around ourselves to protect us from being hurt that when the person with the right key to break into our fortress comes along, we get scared. What if this person finds out all the goods on us? What if this person comes back to hurt me later when things aren't going so well? Well my response to that is simple: let your guard down. So what if you get hurt, you won't be the first or the last person to ever get burned by love. So what if you are completely honest with someone and they come back to hurt you. You can't live inside your own fortress of insecurities and doubt forever. Imagine the possibilities, the tremendous upside of being in love. You may think I am being too melodramatic about this, but what else is there in life that compares to love? Nothing. All the other stuff we do in life, work, eat, whatever, is just filler. Love is what really matters in life. So to all the women in my past that I've hurt, I am sorry. And to all the women that have burned me in the past, I forgive you. I hope all of you can do the same and I wish you all the best in this endeavor.
May 3, 2003: Here is a wonderful guestbook signing from a big fan: "You know, you are really annoying to listen to. My friend told me to check out your show a while back (not to self: hurt her for suggestion your show). Big disappointment! Oh yeah, and I read your stupid online journal...guess you were wrong about the raiders huh? I'm not a raider fan but damn dude, you are a HATER! HATER HATER oh and did I mention that you are a HATER? (in case you didnt get that the first time) you have to be the most annoying as fool I have ever wasted my time listening to!"
Hmmm, all you had to do was turn the station. For someone who doesn't like me or the show, you sure spent a lot of time listening, then looking on the website, and then reading journals I wrote 7 or 8 months ago. I mean, I have some 8th grade book reports you can criticize if you want. And to top it off, then take the time to sign the guestbook. I don't know whether to be scared or flattered. Maybe you were waiting for your hooked on phonics class to begin, but you must have really had a bad day. But while you are there, you may ask them to define the word "sarcasm" for you. I mean if you are going to blast someone online whose name/persona is Joker, you may want to learn that word. But what should I expect from someone who can't even insult somebody with correct spelling. Anyone who still uses the word "hater" should be banned from posting online anyway. Or at least until their vocabulary grows a little. But whatever, keep listening and remember to tell your friends how bad my show is. Peace.
December 15, 2004- Wow, its been over a year and a half since I wrote anything here. Anyways, I am sitting here at work watching the sun rise and fighting off hunger pains, so I got nothing better to do. I am not going to go off on some emo-blog-type rant about how life sucks and blah blah blah, I will try and keep it simple. Life does not suck, its all about how complicated you make it. If you keep things simple, then life can be pretty easy to deal with. If you are like myself and like to complicate things, then you will find that life can stress you out pretty bad sometimes. I think the key to dealing successfully with what obstacles you create in your life is to remember to keep people first. Work and money issues can be dealt with and fixed, but relationships can be much harder to repair. If you don't take care of the people you care about, who will be there for you in the end? My advice would be to take care of the people in your life first, and everything else second. Of course, if I practiced what I preached, my life would be less stressful than it is. But I do the best I can. I wish you luck in your personal relationships and apologize for mistakes I have made in mine.
February 23, 2005- I am not sure how this page is different from the blogs I have just started to write. Maybe blogs are more day-specific, like describing what you did that day or what you are going through that day. While this is more for rants. But then, why is this titled "Personal Journals"? I don't know. Maybe they are the same thing, but I am just that deep that I need two outlets for my opinions. Oh well, back to the subject. So I went to Wondercon last weekend. I have never been to a con before so I didn't know what to expect. I know that I am a geek, but I have always considered myself to be on the lower side of the geek-meter, and going to WonderCon confirmed that. The main reason I went was because Kevin Smith was going to be there. I have seen him before like 7 months ago when he spoke at UC Berkeley, and it was one of the most enjoyable things I have been to. So even though he was only doing a 90 minute Q&A, I thought it would still be worth going. And who knows, maybe I could meet and him and personally get an autograph. So we get there and it's not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Yes, there were people dressed up as Jedi, Men in Black, the Crow, Jack Sparrow, etc., but not nearly as many as possible. We walked around and looked at all the booths and tables selling comics, swords, t-shirts, action figures, even porn. And we went to the autograph section where the "stars" would be signing stuff. Not that I would call the lady who played Lois Lane in the Superman movies or the kid who played Boba Fett in Episode 2 "stars" but you know, whatever pays the bills. And then I see the View Askew table, and it has a huge crowd around it, so I figure Kevin is probably there. So I make my way over to the table and not only is Kevin there, but so is his wife and their daughter Harley. Now I have always had a slight grudge against Kevin since he stole the name I wanted to use for my daughter (if I ever have one) but seeing his family in person made it all ok. So he is signing stuff, and I get this nervous feeling in my stomach, you know, when you get starstruck. Now I know I am pushing 30 and am too old to get starstruck like that, but I can't help it. I felt just like when I was a kid and I met Dale Murphy of the Braves and couldnt't muster anything but a "thank you." So I bought this Chasing Amy poster for him to sign, but I am having trouble opening it, and I am obviously nervous and don't want to take too much of his time and I am stressing out. He obviously noticed this and told me to slow down and take my time. So finally I open it up for him to sign and he signs and once again, all I can say is "thank you." I am such a dork. Also, Mewes was also there, but I didn't get his signature, not like I would have had the courage to go up to him anyways. His Q&A was super-funny, I had only heard a couple of the stories before, and he is always entertaining. Good god, now I am gushing like a fan-boy. Lets move on. The other reason I went to WonderCon was to see the Star Wars panel. However, it was highly disappointing because they didn't show anything new and the whole thing felt like we were being offered a free ski weekend if we buy some of their product. Dude, we're at WonderCon, obviously we are going to see Episode 3 and have boxes full of Star Wars toys in the attic. You are preaching to the congregation here. After the Star Wars panel, it was time to leave. I am very happy that I went and will probably go next year if there some good guests. Big shout out to the fellow KSCU-fam in attendance (Twilight, Juiceph, Tyler, and Bardot) and big shout out to the dude dressed up as Boba Fett. And of course, the biggest props of the day go to Kevin himself, for making my day. I am going to stop gushing now and go outside and join the real world, right after I watch my Dogma DVD for the 23rd time. Peace/
Joker's Top Ten Things That Make Him Happy (Not including friends and family, which goes without saying.)