The Baggy Yellow Shirt
by Patricia Lorenz
(Playing ~ "Remember")
The baggy yellow shirt had
long sleeves, four extra large pockets trimmed in
black thread and snaps up the front. Not terribly
attractive, but utilitarian without a doubt. I
found it in December 1963 during my freshman year
in college when I was home on Christmas break.
Part
of the fun of vacation at home was the chance to
go through Mom's hoard of rummage, destined for
the less fortunate. She regularly scoured the
house for clothes, bedding and house wares to
give away, and the collection was always stored
in paper bags on the floor of the front hall
closet.
Looking
through Mom's collection one day, I came across
this oversized yellow shirt, slightly faded from
years of wear but still in decent shape.
"Just
the thing to wear over my clothes during art
class!" I said to myself.
"You're
not taking that old thing, are you?" Mom
said when she saw me packing it. "I wore
that when I was pregnant with your brother in
1954!"
"It's
perfect for art class, Mom. Thanks!" I
slipped it into my suitcase
before she could object.
The
yellow shirt became a part of my college wardrobe.
I loved it. All during college, it stayed with
me, always comfortable to throw over my clothes
during messy projects. The underarm seams had to
be reinforced before I graduated, but there was
plenty of wear in that old garment.
After
graduation I moved to Denver and wore the shirt
the day I moved into my apartment. Then I wore it
on Saturday mornings when I cleaned. Those four
large pockets on the front - two breast pockets
and two at hip level - made a super place to
carry dust cloths, wax and polish.
The
next year, I married. When I became pregnant, I
found the yellow shirt tucked in a drawer and
wore it during those big belly days. Though I
missed sharing my first pregnancy with Mom and
Dad and the rest of my family, since we were in
Colorado and they were in Illinois, that shirt
helped remind me of their warmth and protection.
I smiled and hugged the shirt when I remembered
that Mother had worn it when she was pregnant.
By
1969, after my daughter's birth, the shirt was at
least 15 years old. That Christmas, I patched one
elbow, washed and pressed the shirt, wrapped it
in holiday paper and sent it to Mom. Smiling, I
tucked a note in one of the pockets saying:
"I hope this fits. I'm sure it will look
great on you!" When Mom wrote to thank me
for her "real" gifts, she said the
yellow shirt was lovely.
She never mentioned it again.
The
next year, my husband, daughter and I moved from
Denver to St. Louis and we stopped at Mom and
Dad's house in Rock Falls, Illinois, to pick up
some furniture. Days later, when we uncrated the
kitchen table, I noticed something yellow taped
to its bottom. The shirt! And so the pattern was
set.
On
our next visit home, I secretly placed the shirt
between the mattress and box springs of Mom and
Dad's bed. I don't know how long it took her to
find it, but almost two years passed before I got
it back.
By
then our family had grown.
This
time Mom got even with me. She put it under the
base of our living room lamp, knowing that as a
mother of three little ones, housecleaning and
moving lamps would not be everyday events.
When
I finally got the shirt, I wore it often while
refinishing "early marriage" furniture
that I found at rummage sales. The walnut stains
on the shirt simply added more character to all
its history.
Unfortunately,
our lives were full of stains, too.
My
marriage had been failing almost from the
beginning. After a number of attempts at marriage
counseling, my husband and I divorced in 1975.
The three children and I prepared to move back to
Illinois to be closer to the emotional support of
family and friends.
As
I packed, a deep depression overtook me. I
wondered if I could make it on my own with three
small children to raise. I wondered if I would
find a job. Although I hadn't read the Bible much
since my Catholic school days, I paged through
the Good Book, looking for comfort. In Ephesians,
I read, "So use every piece of God's armor
to resist the enemy whenever he attacks, and when
it is all over, you will be standing up."
I
tried to picture myself wearing God's armor, but
all I saw was me wearing the stained yellow shirt.
Of course! Wasn't my mother's love a piece of
God's armor? I smiled and remembered the fun and
warm feelings the yellow shirt had brought into
my life over the years. My courage was renewed
and somehow the future didn't seem so alarming.
Unpacking
in our new home and feeling much better, I knew I
had to get the shirt back to Mother. The next
time I visited her, I carefully tucked it in her
bottom dresser drawer, knowing that sweater
weather was months away.
Meanwhile
my life moved splendidly. I found a good job at a
radio station and the children thrived in their
new environment.
A
year later during a window washing spurt, I found
the crumpled
yellow shirt hidden in a rag bag in my cleaning
closet. Something new
had been added. Emblazoned across the top of the
breast pocket
were the bright green newly embroidered words,
"I BELONG TO PAT."
Not
to be outdone, I got out my own embroidery
materials and added an apostrophe and seven more
letters. Now the shirt proudly proclaimed,
"I BELONG TO PAT'S MOTHER."
Once
again, I zigzagged all the frayed seams. Then I
enlisted the aid of a dear friend, Harold, to
help me get it back to Mom. He arranged to have a
friend mail the shirt to Mom from Arlington,
Virginia. We enclosed a letter announcing that
she was the recipient of an award for her good
deeds. The award letter, on official looking
stationery printed at the high school where
Harold was assistant principal, came from "The
Institute for the Destitute."
This
was my finest hour. I would have given anything
to see Mom's face when she opened the "award"
box and saw the shirt inside. But, of course,
she never mentioned it.
On
Easter Sunday the following year, Mother managed
a coup de grace. She walked into our home with
regal poise, wearing that old shirt over her
Easter outfit, as if it were an integral part of
her wardrobe.
I'm
sure my mouth hung open, but I said nothing.
During the Easter meal,
a giant laugh choked my throat. But I was
determined not to break
the unbroken spell the shirt had woven into our
lives. I was sure that
Mom would take off the shirt and try to hide it
in my home, but when
she and Dad left, she walked out the door
wearing,
"I BELONG TO PAT'S MOTHER"
like a coat of arms.
A
year later, in June 1978, Harold and I were
married. The day of our
wedding, we hid our car in a friend's garage to
avoid the usual practical
jokers. After the wedding, while my husband drove
us to our honeymoon
suite in Wisconsin, I reached for a pillow in the
car so I could rest
my head. The pillow felt lumpy. I unzipped the
case and discovered
a gift, wrapped in wedding paper.
I
thought it might be a surprise gift from Harold.
But he looked as stunned
as I. Inside the box was the freshly pressed
yellow shirt.
Mother
knew I'd need the shirt as a reminder that a
sense of humor, spiced with love, is one of the
most important ingredients in a happy marriage.
In a pocket was a note: "Read John 14:27-29.
I love you both, Mother."
That
night I paged through a Bible I found in the
hotel room and found the verses: "I am
leaving you with a gift: peace of mind and heart.
And the peace I give isn't fragile like the peace
the world gives. So don't be troubled or afraid.
Remember what I told you: I am going away, but I
will come back to you again. If you really love
me, you will be very happy for me, for now I can
go to the Father, who is greater than I am. I
have told you these things before they happen so
that when they do, you will believe in me."
The
shirt was Mother's final gift.
She
had known for three months before my wedding that
she had a terminal disease, amyotrophic lateral
sclerosis (Lou Gehrig's disease). Mother died 13
months later, at age 57. I must admit that I was
tempted to send the yellow shirt with her to her
grave. But I'm glad I didn't, because it is a
vivid reminder of the love filled game she and I
played for 16 years.
Besides, my older daughter
is in college now, majoring in art . . . and
every art student needs a baggy yellow shirt with
big pockets for art class!
~ copyrighted © material
used with the express permission of the author,
Patricia Lorenz
(... and with my
grateful thanks that she allowed me to use one of
the most
touching stories I have ever been privileged to
read.)
Patricia Lorenz is an
internationally-known inspirational, art-of-living
writer and speaker whose true stories are
featured in fourteen
Chicken Soup for the Soul books: a 2nd
Helping; 3rd Serving;
4th Course; 6th Bowl; Woman's
Soul; Single Soul; Unsinkable Soul;
Christian Family Soul; Writer's Soul;
Soul of America; Grandparent's Soul;
Christian Woman's Soul; Grieving Soul and Mother-Daughter
Soul.
Patricia is the
author of three books; over 400 articles;
an award-winning regular columnist for two
newspapers; a contributing writer for
fourteen Daily Guideposts books and dozens of
anthologies. If your church, club, business
or organization would be interested in hiring
Patricia for a speaking engagement, you may
contact her at patricialorenz@juno.com
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2000-2004 Carolyn
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