Merry Christmas,

Merry Christmas, Girls
(Girls With Grandmother Faces)

(Playing ~ "Christmastime")

If I were ol' Santa, you know what I'd do
I'd dump silly gifts that are given to you
And deliver some things just inside your front door
Things you have lost, but treasured before.

I'd give you back all your maidenly vigor,
And to go along with it, a neat tiny figure.
Then restore the old color that once graced your hair
Before rinses and bleaches took residence there.

I'd bring back the shape with which you were gifted
So things now suspended need not be uplifted.
I'd draw in your tummy and smooth down your back
'Til you'd be a dream in those tight fitting slacks.

I'd remove all your wrinkles and leave only one chin
So you wouldn't spend hours rubbing grease on your skin.
You'd never have flashes or queer dizzy spells,
And you wouldn't hear noises like ringing of bells.

No sore aching feet and no corns on your toes
No searching for spectacles when they're right on your nose.
Not a shot would you take in your arm, hip or fanny
From a doctor who thinks you're a nervous old granny.

You'd never have a headache, so no pills would you take,
And no heating pad needed since your muscles won't ache.
Yes, if I were Santa, you'd never look stupid.
You'd be a cute little chick with the romance of a cupid.

I'd give a lift to your heart when those wolves start to whistle
And the joys of your heart would be light as a thistle.
But, alas! I'm not Santa. I'm simply just me,
The matronest of matrons you ever did see.

I wish I could tell you all the symptoms I've got,
But I'm due at my doctor's for an estrogen shot.
Even though we've grown older, this wish is sincere,
Merry Christmas to you, and a Happy New Year.

~ author unknown

I received this clever poem from a good friend, Marian Mason Bibb, who enclosed it in her Christmas greeting
to many of her friends. She said "it seemed appropriate for some of us, but not all of us." (Actually,
I was certain she had "looked over my shoulder" so much that it was personal to me ! Ha !) This is so much
like Marian's own writings that she could very well have been the author ! Thanks, Marian, for sharing !

I'd love it if you would sign my guest book ... click on my picture.

Back to Site Directory for more browsing

Home

You may contact me by leaving a message in my guest book.