August 24, 2001

Lots of interesting topics for today. First of all, sex. It's the national pastime here. Volunteers attribute it to the bad television programming (or lack television at all), high unemployment, and the desire to have lots of kids to pass on the genes or work the fields. I've never been to a country where you see 80% of the population as unmarried women with 2-7 children from 1-3 different men. Although women hate that their 'man' is seeing another woman, they still take him back and continue to have kids with him. This phenomenon is also the cause of about 70% of the population having 1 or more STDs, which leads me to the topic of the Peace Corps 4% Club! (by 2003, it was called the 2% Club)

It has been proven that only 4% of each incoming Peace Corps group will not have had sex by the end of the 27 month term. Because our group is only 25 people, do the math, and you have 1 person who is abstinent. However, all of the women in our group are so fearful of catching some nasty STD or HIV that they are all talking about shipping over ex-boyfriends for some 'quality' time. Some even brought sex toys, which others said they were fearful would be difficult to disinfect with the water situation here. We've decided to start a pot of money for the 4% Club winner. Many women are even pissed because this year we had an unusually female group with 18 single women, 3 single men, and 2 married couples. In previous years, the group was split equally and volunteers dated.

Because you have to get tested for HIV before coming and because it is assumed that we are all 'safe', for a while, all of the women volunteers were surveying who of the 3 men in my group would be the best 'catch'. Yeah, I know, when we're desperate, we're desperate! The winner of the 3 actually is the one rural guy who will be living nearest to my site up in the mountains. I even felt like I was in college when a volunteer from last year started hitting on him, and then our whole group was acting like she had no right to touch ‘our’ men. Reminded me of the Amherst College women hating Smith College women for coming to their campus to 'steal' their men.

We saw a movie two weeks ago called 'Come Home Safe' about 10 Peace Corps volunteers who contracted AIDS during service. It was really emotional for all of us because these volunteers were crying and saying they never thought it would happen to them. They had had their partners tested, in some cases, and the results had been negative, but the partner contracted it after the test and passed it on, or they were in the 6 month HIV development period when it doesn't register on a test. Everyone in our group kept saying you'd have to be dumb not to use condoms, but, when it comes down to the moment, you just never know who will take the chance.

As for dating, there are odd, unspoken social norms here. If you dance 3 dances with the same guy, then you are automatically dating. If you are seen talking alone with a guy, then you are dating. If you go out alone with a guy, then it is assumed you like him as a boyfriend. Women that men sleep with are called 'piquenas' (PIH-KAY-NAHS) here, so you can ask a guy if he has one, and he usually will tell you. This one volunteer was saying that last year she liked a guy, and after going out with him once, she thought to ask if he had a piquena. He said yes, and then she just walked away, thinking she was crazy to want a guy who already had a girlfriend and wanted another one. Here it is VERY typical for a guy to have multiple girlfriends, some of whom will have his kids. Because most men are unemployed or get off at 5 p.m., if your 'man' is not with you every waking moment, then he is cheating on you, according to current female volunteers.

Having a boyfriend sounds both dangerous and difficult to me. You have to keep them on this short leash and hope you don't catch a STD in a country where nobody can diagnose half of the common illnesses. We went to a local clinic once to see what services it offered, and the bandaging room looked like a snowball stand with 10 different liquids in those glass bottles with metal tips. A hired nurse sat outside cutting the sterile gauze into cubes by hand, and I couldn't help but think how sterile they were!

Whistling. There are many types of whistling that mean different things. These whistles are a Chiiiiittttt kind of a sound, like when you blow air through your teeth. I have never heard so many variations. There is the 'chiiittt' = hey there cutie, or the 'chittttt' = buy my Senegalese clothes! Young boys will even do it, having learned from their fathers. The fun thing is to do it to Cape Verdeans and see how they react. Another funny thing that happens is that the Senegalese call ‘white’ people 'Amigo' or 'Amiga', and the Cape Verdeans call us 'Sister' because they think we are Mormon missionaries. The worst mistake you can make is to pay attention to a Senegalese man trying to sell you something because you will inevitably get stuck with him hanging everything in your face until you run away. I may eventually buy from one, if I feel the need.

Next Monday, I leave for my site with Kevin, Dawn, and Sally, my site mates who will all live within an hour of me. Oh, I forgot to mention that I have been told I may need a DONKEY at my site!!!! Not for carrying water....for carrying me!!! It's supposedly so mountainous that a volunteer nearby claims I'll need one. Imagine me on the cover of my book on my donkey! Sex with donkeys is a topic for later emails. That is another thing that happens in Calheta, according to a current volunteer. I guess men are desperate....God only knows WHY with so many available women!

Also, Helder, the director of community development, pulled me aside today. I thought he would yell at me for wanting a gas stove and refrigerator out there, but he instead complemented me. He said I was chosen for the rural site with Kevin because I was the best Community Development volunteer with the potential to accomplish a lot. I was honored and hoped I would live up to his expectations. He said he had high hopes for all of the projects in my village.

My hour is running up. I will write more in a week when I return.