February 7, 2002

Ok, so, you all are aware of the turbulences that affect my fragile existence in Cape Verde. I constantly have to sit back and ask myself, 'What am I learning?' 'Why is this so hard?' 'Why do I constantly have greater challenges as each month passes?' 'Is it supposed to be like this?’ ‘Why is this not getting easier with time?'

Dawn, my best friend, has officially decided to ET, or Early Terminate her contract here. She spent a few days in Dakar, Senegal with the dermatologist. They thought she initially had hepatitis because of her liver showing problems, but it was quickly resolved. Her boils disappeared, and her eczema became more under control with some topical ointments. She returned with a new glow, and said she was staying. Then just an hour later, after talking with our doctor, she decided to leave. She has great reasons for leaving. The doctor here practices Buddhism and told Dawn that our bodies frequently tell us things we cannot see with our own eyes in our lives. Dawn said she had learned during these past few months to follow her intuition more. The doctor then said that some volunteers are just not meant to be here because they have learned what they came to learn and must move on. That resonated with Dawn because she has decided she wants to get an MA in Creative Writing -- Dawn is also 30 with lots of previous job experience. She really knows what she wants, and has decided to pursue that.

My stomach sank when she broke the news to me. I was already partially prepared, but somehow I thought medical treatment in Senegal would change her mind. Part of me is so sad because I wish it were me leaving. As I mentioned in my recent emails, Dawn has been the driving force of my happiness because she provides so much support and humor in my life. Living rural has been very draining and difficult, especially because of my inability to express myself to people who really understand me on a daily basis.

Work is finally picking up. I have a great Girls Exchange planned that will span over the next 3 weekends, culminating in a theatre performance on March 3rd, the Sunday before International Women's Day (March 8th). I have written a proposal that Peace Corps Washington, D.C. is going to fund that will enable 8 teenage urban girls from Praia to spend 2 days in the Ribeira (river valley) in homes of 8 rural girls spread over the 3 villages I work with. The urban girls will then receive the rural girls in their Praia (capital city) homes the following weekend. I have many educational activities planned for both weekends teaching 'life skills', and the third weekend they will work on a theatre presentation together. The key is that I am using very mature and educated teenage girls from Praia who volunteer extensively for the Red Cross doing theatre skits on drugs, teenage pregnancy, etc. to diverse local communities. One objective is for the urban girls to help the rural girls gain more self-esteem and public speaking skills. Together they will perform a one-hour theatre skit to my village on what they have learned from the experience on March 3rd.

I will put all of the digital photos I take on-line of the Girls Exchange. Imagine rural girls watching a movie or eat ice cream for the first time! Imagine them seeing a city for the first time! Imagine the urban girls grinding corn by hand or making moonshine at the liquor factory in my village! I can't wait to see what happens.

As for my social life, it's precarious right now. Sally will probably leave in the next month because she is a wreck now that her boyfriend (soon-to-be-fiancé) left. One of her many dilemmas will be finding a new apartment suited for one person. I have never been a close friend of hers, so it will be hard for us to create a new friendship if we never had one before. Dawn says that she sees life here for Kevin and I to be more of the same, a big roller coaster. Only time will tell... For now I am just trying to keep my chin up and I remind myself of all the good I am doing (or think I am doing).