Please tell me I’ll be fine!
I will won’t I?
I will be fine; won’t I; won’t I?
3 WEEKS LATER:
There they are again! The lady birds! I’m amazed at how long they can survive without food and water. However, isn’t that just another factor that sustains me in questioning their being real? Last night while sitting on my bed I saw another one, right next to my candle. I picked the little creature up in order to throw it into the flames (. Looking back now I must admit that I do not recall the touch of its tiny little legs on my skin). I know that’s a horrible thing to do and it fell out of sight! Only for me to see it a few seconds later speeding up the side of the candle. And to my utter amazement it started circling the flame around and around and around in circles it went like a little merrygo around. By that point in time I was curious to detect any signs of singes or burns on it’s back or wings but there was nothing to be found. One slip of attention is all it took, I looked away and when my eyes refocused on the candle the stupid little bastard had disappeared.
Anyway, that incident did not further concern me at that time, up to a few
minutes later, lying in bed I suddenly felt a tingling at my ear. First I believed
it to be nothing of concern and brushed it away carelessly with my hand but
the sensation remained. I lifted my hand to again rid myself from this discomfort.
It was impossible!
Something was clinging to the top of my ear. In a momentary feeling of shock
I realized that this must be the ladybird! I started screaming, shouting, desperately
trying to free myself from this horrible little insect; an insect which, I must
add, I used to love in my childhood. (We always tried to determine a ladybugs
age by counting the dots on its back .Not that that would have been true.) I
was pulling my hair trying desperately to get away form it. I was shocked at
myself. How could I feel such great antipathy for such little an insect?
I still don’t know whether it is actually gone. I can still feel it from time
to time, crawling over my skin, my scalp, my feet. I can feel its despicable
tiny legs slowly gliding across my scarred arms, feel it tying to dig its gross
little head into my skin in order to continue its existence within my beautiful
body.
And despite all this I am positively sure that, right now, on that window frame over there, there is a lady bird with only two tiny dots on it , sitting there, waiting, seeming to do nothing but secretly laughing at me . I don’t know. It doesn’t matter maybe they don’t exit after all.
HELP ME PLEASE! Please!
Please help. Just do something to lessen the pain. Help! What else remains there
for me to ask?
