Without Serenity

I look deep within myself
at what I hoped would be a beautiful person
My soul aches

There are many faces "living" my life
The only true face is blank
Is No One

I see my smile in family portraits
I search my pictured face
Trying to find traces of me
If I saw my SELF
I wouldn't know it

Drained
Trying to live without a full soul
I have tried most everything
Just to feel I belong
To feel real

There burns within me a tiny light
It appears very bright
When I try to capture it
It fades
It smolders

The Light dances
teases
unobtainable to me

I am
Without serenity