I have a fish named Josh.  He's named after the fabulously dynamic character Joshua Lyman from NBC's "The West Wing."  He (the fish) used to be married to Donna, also a fish and also named for her alter ego on TWW, but on Saturday, Donna bit the dust.  Well, not literally as she was under water, but you get the idea.

Donna was actually Donna II, Donna I having joined the great ocean in the sky a mere four hours after coming home.  Donna I was promptly returned to the fish store the next day after spending quite a few toasty hours on the floor of my car (in a bag, of course). 

As you can probably tell, I don't have the best of luck with fish.

Donna (II) and Josh had lived happily in fish euphoria with Father John Jackson Peck the Fish, or FJJPTF for short, or just Eff Jay for short short. 

Eff Jay was a monk-fish, and so had to live in community.  As no other monk-fish were available, Josh and Donna conceded to allow Eff Jay to move in.

Fr. Eff Jay is also no longer with us.  After Donna (II) left this world, Eff Jay enjoyed a few nibbles of her poor limp fish-body before my ex-boyfriend removed Donna (II).  This came after my many exclamations of "Father John is eating Donna!"

Eff Jay died the next day, from which I have learned that if you cannibalize another of your species you will die.  Even if you are a monk-fish.

I was so naïve when I made plans to have three happy fish in a little tank in my bedroom.  I had even named them before I bought them.  I settled on Josh and Donna quickly, having a habit of naming things after television, and finding Brad Whitford (the real TV Josh) and Janel Moloney (the real TV Donna) adorable.

Eff Jay was named after my mom's priest, who tried valiantly to win me goldfish at his church's festival, but failed.  I figured when I got fish I'd name one after him.  Maybe if I attended mass, Eff Jay would still be with us.  Fish food for thought.

So, anyway, now it's just Josh who enjoys eating vast amounts of fish food and running into the glass when he sees his own reflection when the fish tank light is on.

I don't have a great track record with fish to begin with.  I'm currently on Mini-me beta version 3.0, versions 1.0 and 2.0 being with Donna's I, II, and Eff Jay.  Mini-me 1.0 died shortly after his homecoming while 2.0 lived 5 months before freezing to death at Christmas when I turned the heat down in my apartment.

3.0 is getting on swimmingly in his ecosystem while I live in constant fear of his inevitable demise.

(6.28.01)