Speaking From Experience
I would like to share some of our personal experiences,
then I'll share my poem, "Christian Love Letter."When Don and I first started visiting the nursing homes and retirement centers we had no idea how much this visitation would involve. We thought we would be doing something to bring a little comfort or cheer to others. We found that we were tremendously blessed by the fellowship with these people. They possess great talents and have led interesting and productive lives, and we had much to learn from them. We would come away thrilled with having been privileged to get to know these people and their families. We have visited people who were very ill and maybe disabled but whose minds were extremely sharp and clear. We also have visited some who were confused and couldn't remember things, seemed to live in the past, but still possessed strength and mobility. Each person's situation was equally touching. We were told ahead of time that several were non-responsive, but we felt compelled to continue visiting them regularly. We would call them by name, tell them who we were and why we were there. We would take cards with Bible verses and other cheerful messages, read the cards, tell them we were placing the cards on the bedside table or on the window sill, so their families could see them. We would pray with them, and sometimes sing to them. Those "non-responsive" people, after being visited a few times, or maybe many times, began to respond to us. They would become alert when we spoke to them, look our way and listen to us. If they were restless, they would seem to settle down and relax when we prayed for them or sang to them. We feel those visits were certainly not useless and that it was good to let those people know someone cared.
Most of those whom we visited five or more years ago have gone on to Glory. As they passed away we attended their funerals and grave side services, if at all possible. This seemed to give their families comfort and they always expressed their gratitude to us for giving of our time and energies to visit, pray with, and sing to their loved ones. For some, we were the last friends who kept in close fellowship with them. And there have been two or three whom we know that we were the last ones on earth to pray with them before they slipped out into eternity. We now have several other precious friends doing the visiting of these nursing home people, who are very appreciative of the visits. Due to health and family issues of our own we are mostly doing the paperwork concerning our church's records of those who enter the nursing homes or who pass on to their eternal reward.
The years of the 90's were for us years of seeing as well as experiencing the pain of having loved ones and friends in hospitals, nursing homes, hospice centers and retirement homes. There seldom has been a week go by that we haven't seen it. Both of us have had loved ones in these situations and have observed hundreds of others in the same situations. We have watched how others have coped with problems of loved ones in nursing homes. Some families have been with their loved ones constantly, 24 hours a day; and we have seen the other extreme, people who have been forgotten and neglected. When these people first enter the nursing home situations they all "want to go home soon." Later it's total despair and "I'll never go home again." It really tugs at our hearts.
Often we were told by others...."..you're doing a wonderful thing;" "I don't know how you can keep it up so faithfully;" "I couldn't do what you're doing because it would upset me to be around people who are so ill." All I know is that we were willing to go out and try. And as we continued we were blessed, grew to love the people, and we could not stop. It's wonderful to walk into a room and have a person flash a great big smile of happiness when they see us. And if we ever missed visiting a week for any reason, when we got back we were questioned about where we had been and why we didn't come. They missed us. This makes us realize that these people need someone they can count on to visit them on a regular basis. This is important to them - - if you read Don's testimony, you will see that he already knew from the beginning just how important.
But there's another real blessing I received during the course of our visitation to the nursing homes. I saw people in all states of illness and disability while visiting nursing homes and the Lord used this to prepare me for the time my own father was stricken with a massive stroke and was hospitalized. After a few months Dad was moved from the skilled care area into the Palliative Care (hospice) area, because he was not expected to live more than a couple of weeks longer. This was in the Veterans Affairs Medical Center. Well, Dad lived 15 1/2 months in Palliative Care. He was totally disabled, paralyzed, in a fetal position, blind, unable to eat and was tube fed. He was more helpless than a new-born babe, but his mind was sharp, and he knew us. Mother stayed with him 24 hours a day, except when my sister and I would go over and relieve her on a regular basis several times a week. She needed a break to go home and rest for a night or a day, to be refreshed, and to take care of mail, bills, and other necessary things. Dad was never left alone night or day. We saw him suffer pain and human indignity. But through it all he was peaceful, content, and uncomplaining, even grateful. We assisted in his care, loved him, talked to him, sang to him, prayed with him. There were times he "participated" in our singing by moving his lips to the words of the hymns. Dad's fellowship with the Lord enabled him to die with dignity and grace. We treasure those long months we spent with Dad. It was difficult to let Dad go, but we knew he was tired and ready to be with the Lord. The Lord used Don to get us involved, and He then prepared me to be able to deal with the lengthy illness and loss of my father by giving me an "assignment".......nursing home visitation. God's timing was perfect.
