Mr. T revs up his helluva-fast 1982 Custom GMC van and races to the television studio in under two minutes.

Our hero rushes into the studio: "I pity da foo' dat don't believe in the historical Resurrection and unique divinity of JC!  Where's dat Spong sucka?"

"Oh, Mr. T, you just missed the bishop -- he ducked out the back door when he heard your van."