Title: William
Author: Robin the Crossover Junkie
Rating: G
Summary: Mini-ficlet that takes place directly after “As You Were”. I just wanted to capture Spike’s feelings after the last scene, as a writing exercise. Just to pound out some words, meaningless as they may be.
“I’m sorry… William.”
The words replay in my head, over and over. I can’t get them out. It’s like a bleedin broken record, reminding me again and again. She meant it. She called me William. She meant it.
I do love her, you know. I may be a real prick sometimes, but I’m evil. I’ve been evil for over a hundred years. But I’m a bloody puppy now.
The things I’ve done for her in the last year. Everything, all for her. And she still can’t love me? I went against all my nature. I’m a vampire. I kill, I hunt, and I hurt people for fun. Yet, I fight for the bloody good guys now, all for her. I spent the entire summer fighting with her friends because I knew that’s what she would have wanted.
I knew it was stupid to fall in love with her. I hate it when she makes me say it, because the look in her eyes…it’s desperate. Like she just needs to hear that someone loves her, and she doesn’t care who. She doesn’t care about me, and it bloody hurts.
I’ll show her. She wants me to mope around, like a lost little dog? Like Angel did when he left her? I don’t bloody think so. I’m William the Bloody. I’m not a soddin wet rag. She never has to know how I feel. She doesn’t have to know that she broke my heart.
