Topic: WC - Daily Practice
Wednesday 10:33am 9Aug06
I watched part of an episode of Grey's Anatomy (one of the fall shows I taped and haven't watched yet) and Doctor Meredith Grey has started dating a veterinarian and the vet asks her to tell him why she is scary and damaged although she hasn't said that she is. Later on in the episode she gets cold feet and says, "Maybe I'm not the right person for you."
The vet tells her his story and says, "I never said that I wasn't scary and damaged myself."
It made me think that that's often how we enter relationships almost trying to disguise our scary damaged aspects of ourselves, our personalities, our past. I'm not saying that we could start every relationship with full disclosure and spill everything that we've ever said or done, every mishap you ever made but wouldn't it be just a little bit easier if we walked into a relationship and realizing they are possibly as scary and damaged as we are.
I wonder if that would help me to relax a little.
The thing about scary and damaged is that whenever I meet someone new I always think that they are far more sane or together than I am. My belief system is set up, for whatever reason, to think that the other person is more sane, that the other person is less dysfunctional. I don't know what it is exactly. So for me, the scary and damaged outlook is a healthier way to look at others to remind myself that just because I know myself so well as opposed to the other person doesn't necessarily preclude that the person is less damaged or less dysfunctional. We all have aspects of ourselves that are scary and damaged.
Two characters entering into a relationship go in with the focus on their own baggage not necessarily getting or seeing that the person their entering into the relationship with is also scary and damaged. What do they discover about each other that is scary and damaged. How long does it take to discover the scary and damaged aspects? What could be so scary or damaged that would make them reconsider the relationship?
Another story line in Grey's Anatomy was about an intern who had fallen asleep at the wheel while driving. He hit a family and ultimately killed their 22 year old pregnant daughter. He asks Doctor Grey if he can apologize to the family for what he has done. The father of the family (brought in by Doctor George O'Malley) later comes into the intern's room and as the intern says, "I'm sorry. Please forgive me," and starts crying, the father walks to him places his hand on the intern's chest and caresses his face. No words spoken.
Doctor Grey and George (the other doctor that have had a major falling out) look at each other. You know that they are both thinking something along the lines of, if that father can forgive that intern for that, what can I forgive?
What can Kali forgive in White Wishes? What can any character forgive? And in my personal life, what can I forgive?
EY
