Now Playing: Outkast - Idlewild
Topic: WC - Daily Practice
Saturday 12:57pm 23Sept06
Had a surprise date last night and ended up having dinner at the Keg Mansion. Forget about blowing calories! Steak and Lobster, garlic mashed potatoes, mushrooms and asparagus. Couldn't even contemplate dessert.
Lots of relationship drama swirling around and we've barely hit Libra. Should prove interesting. It's funny and I now see, so me, that when given the choice last night to be given care or to be the caregiver I was the caregiver. And then I got a little mad about it. I see where I set myself up into this game of taking care of others and then punish them for thinking that it's okay to turn to me all the time. Interesting!
I stood at the phone looking at it, calculating quickly how I could push back my troubles (tell the person that was going to help me that I'd call tomorrow) and be there for his troubles now. If I need anything relationship wise, I need someone that will stop me from doing that shit to myself before I do it. Big long tearful sigh!
I wrote in my note book last night, Think Pisces sponge and the exhaustion in filling up beyond saturation.
I feel so worn out by it all right now. It feels time consuming and I'm not seeing God's point or plan. So I ask myself what next?
I've got to give up smoking (again) because I've gone back to smoking as if I'd never quit.
I need the daily practice of meditation, deep breathing and chanting. My energy calms and I receive so many answers.
Write, write, write, write, write. Obviously!
Confront each issue, one at a time. I started on my work situation with the CEO of the world. I've received some sound guidance on my options. Monday, I take action steps toward setting clear boundaries with this person. Discuss with my boss all the annoyances that I've mentioned to him in the past but hoped would go away so he can help me to get organized in what may turn out to be a fight. That's a start. More rational given my current emotions.
And it's sunny today! What happened with that? I was prepared for the cocooning causing cold rain. sigh! Now I have to get outside too. This could be a good opportunity to rollerblade out to the Beaches and back. Burn off that extra 8000 calories I consumed at the Keg.
I still have two more Keg dates! One with Ant and one with 2nd thoughts man. What's with men and meat? Ha Ha! I could go down so many paths with that. Even my guys at work. They always comment when I don't have meat in my lunch.
"You don't have meat!"
"Yes I know."
"You should have some meat. You need meat."
"Really? If You don't stop bugging me about eating meat, you're going to feel the meat of my foot up your ass in a minute."
Big grins!
Our longstanding joke is me finding ways to tell them I'm going to kick their ass. They love my creativity in using what they've just said.
Their latest joke is to park this bright yellow bin (emergency spill kit) in front of my bathroom whenever I'm in the bathroom. I come out and have to wrestle with the bin as I yell, "Bastards!" and I hear some snickers.
I'm trying to find the joke in my current situation. If I look at it with half closed eyes or something, I could really find things to laugh at. The people that latch on to me bordering on harassment (actually it's past that). I thought I had this great cover that kept those people at arms length. I work with all these men and you'd think I'd be harassed by a man. That is the joke.
EY
