Undead Television Report.
Topic: R-Dead Television Report
Monday 10:17pm 16Oct06

So these are all the shows I tape:

Inside The Actor's Studio

Six Feet Under - last season hurray!

Slings & Arrows - Bastards cut out the swearing!

The Closer

Heroes - Just added it tonight. Caught Chapter 3 last week and it's freaky good!

Rick Mercer Report - Tie Domi on decorating? Rick Mercer on a swing stage on the 63rd floor of Scotiabank? He has big balls.

Law and Order: Criminal Intent

Gilmore Girls - that quick dialogue makes me laugh and Laine hating sex? Too wrong! Rory text messaging sex talk to Logan? Oh no! WWTBFCS?

Rescue Me - Denis Leary, I would propose to him if he wasn't married. Testosterone...need I say more?

Criminal Minds

Weeds - When the Uncle discussed masturbation with the kid I was weak!

Ugly Betty - Selma Hayek, secret Lesbian crush. You know of course that when I'm rich and famous that comment will come back to bite me in the ass!

Grey's Anatomy - Who do I love more on that show? I love them all! sniff sniff

The L-word - Okay the first season I watched out of curiosity. That season clearly catered to men. The second season was fantastic. A.M Homes wrote a few of those episodes. Love her! The third season sucks the big one! Dana has breast cancer? Jen Beals character is all wimpy and unsure of herself? Shane in a dress? Come on! And the little cute one that was engaged and then had her first lesbian affair then became a cutter doesn't know when she's about to be gay bashed? I'm not even fucking gay and I could figure that one out. Sucks! Oh yes and Alice as stalker crazy anti-depressant taking ex. sigh!

Men in Trees - Okay that hot guy that Anne Heche's character had sex with, phew, I watch it for him. EYE CAN-DY. If all men looked like him in Alaska, I'd love the winter!

Law and Order, the original

G-Spot - almost like the Canadian Sex and the City.

and Family Guy - politically incorrect. I have screamed from some of the one liners. Sick writers! Love it!

So it's actually not as bad as last year and I look forward to watching every tape.

I dumped Prison Break even though Wentworth Miller is a beautiful thing to behold. I dumped Desperate Housewives last year in Season 2. I can't remember when I watched CSI regularly but I do remember getting grossed out while eating spaghetti and gagging so hard I hurt myself! I say as I laugh hysterically. Yeah you really can laugh at things some day.

I'm down to only 4 crime dramas and The Closer often makes me laugh and Kyra Sedgewick is damn brilliant. I gave up Without a Trace although I did really like it. But after awhile watching all those crime dramas make me paranoid and who needs that. If you get killed it will probably be by some one you know and worse yet love. Does anybody need to think about that? Thank God at least most serial killers like to kill white people. Bad joke! But it's the one time I'm glad we're not accepted. Sorry!

What I may dump... The L-Word, Criminal Minds, and Law & Order the original. I love Vincent D'Onofrio too much to let him go. And thankfully Six Feet Under will be done soon. Six Degrees is kind of good but I won't allow myself to get into it. And I'm still waiting for Nip/Tuck. So far my shows fill 2.5 tapes a week compared to the close to 7 tapes a week last year, major improvement. Sometimes I'd have to watch a tape just so I could use it again to record all the shows. I still have tapes from last season that I didn't watch.

Yeah, it's still kind of pathetic but in the grand scheme of things, when I want to watch television I can just slap in a tape and fast forward through the commercials. So I'm not sitting for a whole hour being held hostage by the T.V. Also I don't have to flip around watching stupidness because I feel like watching T.V. but there's nothing good on. Thank God I don't have Tivo!

Recommendation - If you were going to catch a new show, Heroes is the one. It's got that graphic novel feel to it, dark and strange.

I've confessed my T.V. sins, confession is good for the soul. Now I can sleep... if Zelda calms down.

EY